Happy Thoughts
by psych21
Summary: COMPLETED AU 3rd Season. What would happen if Donna got Josh to take time to focus on happy thoughts?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I recently got into watching The West Wing and am fascinated by the relationship between Josh and Donna. What started as a one-shot story has grown into a larger multi-section story. This is slightly AU and set in Season 3. _

Happy Thoughts

Part 1

Donna looked at her watch, the same silver watch that Josh had given her for Christmas last month and thought back to when he gave it to her.

"_Donna!" Josh yelled. _

_She got up from her desk and sauntered into his office. "Yes Josh?" _

"_Before I forget, here." _

_Before she knew what was happening, he was throwing a box at her. She hurried to catch it before inspecting it. The wrapping was a simple shiny red, with a small green bow on top. "What is this?" _

"_Your Christmas gift." He said, going back to reading the papers in front of him. _

_She was surprised. Most of the time she either got a bonus check so she could buy her own gift or he would take her out to a really nice dinner for Christmas. But this…this was unexpected. She didn't care if he had wrapped it himself or what the actual gift was at this point. Just the fact that he put thought and effort into it was enough for her. _

"_Are you going to stand there all day looking at it or are you actually going to open it?" He laughed. _

_She ignored his comment and slowly started to unwrap it. Cracking open the box she saw a beautiful silver watch. It had a slim band and it looked like diamond accents around the face. It was the most beautiful watch she had ever seen. _

"_You're staring again." He sighed and got up from his chair, walking over to her. "Is it the wrong kind of watch? I overheard you talking to Margaret last week about how your watch died and then I saw that and I thought it was your style. But if not I can take it back…" _

"_Joshua Lyman, don't you dare." She shook her head, holding the watch close to her heart. "This is perfect." _

_He chuckled. "Perfect, huh? Well then maybe I'm not so bad at giving gifts as you thought." _

"_No you have been pretty terrible." She laughed. "But this definitely makes up for it." _

"_Good." He grinned. "I'm glad you like it." _

"_I love it." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she put on the watch. "I guess now would be a good time to give you your Christmas present." _

"_I don't need anything." He shook his head. _

"_Oh, you say that every year." She laughed. _

"_I mean it every year. And every year you ignore me and end up getting me something I didn't know I wanted." He sighed with the grin still on his face. "Alright. What is it going to be this year?"_

_She went out to her desk and opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a small box. Then she went back into his office and placed it in his waiting hands. Unlike her, he didn't waste any time opening his present. Although he said he hated getting presents, he certainly didn't act like it when he was given one. He acted like a little kid, way too eager to open presents on Christmas morning._

"_You got me monogrammed cuff links?" He chuckled. _

"_Yes." She nodded. _

"_Why?" _

"_It was at the correspondent's dinner in April, remember? You were talking about how you had seen the president's cuff links and you said someday you'd want to such a big deal that you warranted having your initials on your cuff links like he does." _

"_And you finally think I'm a big deal?" He chuckled._

"_Don't get a bigger ego than before." She grinned. _

"_Too late. I'm not sure my ego can fit through the door anymore." He joked. "You really remembered some off-handed comment I made from April?" _

"_Of course." She nodded. _

"_Well thank you. Once again, you've gotten me something I didn't realize I wanted." _

"_You're welcome. Merry Christmas Josh." _

"_Merry Christmas Donna." _

It was getting late and he should be getting home since he had early meetings tomorrow. She walked the short distance from her desk to his office and knocked on the door frame.

"What?" Came Josh's reply without looking up from the stack of papers he was reading.

"It's getting late." She told him, still standing in the door way.

"When did you become the time monitor?"

"One could argue that I've always been the time monitor. But you should go home now." She gently prodded. For some reason he wasn't in a good mood, which wasn't uncommon lately. Ever since he came back from the Christmas break he had been having more and more days where he was grumpy, short-tempered and just overall in a terrible mood. But today his foul temper was surprising. He should be happy today.

"I have work to do. I'm reading more about H.R. 2592."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Josh. That can wait. The meeting for that bill isn't until next week."

"Yes, but it's never too early to start prepping."

"What's this really about?" She questioned. "You should be over the moon with excitement. The education bill passed Congress today. It's over and you won."

"The country won. I just ensured the victory when it seemed like all hope was lost." He corrected, finally looking up at her and grinning.

There was that grin again. One of these days that grin was going to be the death of her. She put those types of thoughts away and came into the room, going over to the side of his desk. "So why aren't you happy? You have been slaving away over this bill for a month and it passed in time to announce it as a victory in the State of the Union. Why didn't you go out with Sam and Toby to celebrate? I thought they asked you."

"They did but I told them no." He answered. "And who says I'm not happy?"

"Everyone who comes into contact with you." She said in a soft voice.

"So what? Just because I am not jumping through the hallways with a huge smile on my face you think I'm not happy?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "Donna…"

"No Josh." She interrupted, starting to yell. "The fact that you bite people's heads off at random moments makes you seem unhappy. The fact that late at night before you go home I see you looking sad makes you seem unhappy. And the fact that you haven't been giving me as much of a hard time about everything under the sun lately makes you seem unhappy."

The room was tense after her statements and for a moment she wondered if she was wrong to say that. After all, she didn't come in here to berate him. She only wanted him to get some rest. But there was something about this man that sometimes made her lose her temper. She wasn't proud of it but it happens.

She wasn't lying about anything she said either. Most nights she would sneak a glance of him near the end of the day and he looked miserable. Maybe it wasn't any of her business. Maybe it was trouble in his personal life. But after working so closely with him for so long, she couldn't help caring.

After gaining some courage, she finally looked at him. He was looking at her strangely. Although she thought she was completely fluent in what his looks meant, this one was new to her. She adjusted her tone, softening it. "You have early meetings tomorrow. You should go home and get some sleep."

"I can't, Donna." He sighed. "Not right now."

"Ok." She nodded, grabbing his hand and practically pulling him up.

"What are you doing?" He scoffed as he stood up.

"Come here and sit on the couch for a moment." She demanded.

"Why?"

He may have been confused and wanting to protest her command, but he still did it anyway and sat on the couch. She went over and sat next to him. "If you won't go out to celebrate with the guys and you won't go home to sleep, we are going to sit here and we are going to clear our minds for a moment."

"Donna, what kind of insanity has come over you?" He joked.

"It's not insanity." She asserted. "I recently read a book about how to become happier with your life."

"I don't want any part of a self-help book technique." He told her, trying to get up.

She grabbed his arm. "Josh, please? Just try it for a moment?"

He seemed to be thinking it over but finally sighed and sat back against the couch. "Fine. But only for a moment."

"Perfect." She smiled.

"What do I have to do for this exercise?"

"I'm glad you asked. The book says that when you experience victories or good things in your life you need to celebrate somehow so that your brain can recognize that something good happened. That recognition can help shield your mind from negativity when something bad happens by drawing on the feeling you focused on when the good things happened."

"This sounds like a bunch of nonsense." He complained

"Alright, maybe I'm not explaining it well enough but the book had a lot of science and data in there to back it up." She conceded.

"So I'll repeat my question. What do I have to do for this exercise?"

"We have to sit on this couch and clear our minds." She explained. "And you can't cross your arms. You have to put them at your sides."

"Why is that?" He laughed.

"Because you want to put your body in a position where it feels open and free. Crossing your arms makes your body feel closed off and angry." She explained.

"This sounds like a whole lot of rubbish to me."

"It will never work with that attitude."

"It will never work with any attitude." He pointed out.

"Josh…" She trailed off. "I'm trying to help you. Can you just please try this one thing?"

"I'm sorry." He apologized, uncrossing his arms. "Better?"

"Much." She rolled her eyes.

"Now what?"

She sat back against the couch and put her arms to her sides as well. "Now that your body feels open and free, we close our eyes and think about the good things that happened today." She waited until he closed his eyes before closing her own.

"So we think about the education reform bill and what it will do to help all of the children in America. We think about what it will mean to the campaign and the boost it will give the numbers for New Hampshire and the primaries after that. We think about anything else that is bringing us happiness today."

"Anything?" He questioned.

"Yes, anything as long as it brings us happiness." She answered. "And while we think of those things, we take some deep breaths. The point of this is to take a moment out of your busy life to appreciate what good you have in your life and what good things have happened."

"So all we do is essentially meditate?" He chuckled.

"I guess it is a form of meditation."

"Do I have to start saying 'ummm' a lot and lighting weird smelling candles with Gregorian chant music playing in the background?" He joked.

She kept her eyes closed but was starting to get really angry. All she was trying to do was help him take a moment and relax. She thought that maybe focusing his mind on the good parts of his life would help boost him from his bad mood. But apparently all he wanted to do was make jokes. "Josh if you aren't going to take this seriously then never mind…"

"I'm sorry. I'll stop."

She felt his hand lightly grip her arm opened her eyes, turning her head to see him staring at her. "If you don't want to do this then just say so. But don't make jokes and hurt my feelings."

"I won't do it again." He assured her. "Let's try this. It can't hurt anything to try."

"Ok." She watched him put his arms at his sides again and he closed his eyes. This time she kept her eyes open and watched him. He may not want to admit it, but he wasn't happy and was looking stressed. If nothing else, maybe this exercise would destress him for a moment. She traced the shape of his face with her eyes, letting her gaze fall upon every curve, every muscle that contorted his face while being tense. It wasn't often that she could stare at him this closely without him knowing and she was going to take advantage of it.

"So happy thoughts?" He asked.

"Happy thoughts." She echoed. After a moment, his face began to soften. It seemed like he was relaxing. Maybe he was actually giving this exercise a try. Maybe, just maybe the exercise was working and he was becoming more relaxed.

That thought made her happy and she decided to lean back, close her eyes and think happy thoughts too.

After what seemed like a few minutes, she felt him grab a hold of her hand and give it a squeeze. She turned and looked at him, only to find that his eyes were still closed. It wasn't the first time they had held hands like this, but it was rare. She could only remember a handful of times. In the past it had only been during times of great stress or sadness.

"I'm not sleeping well lately." His statement was so soft that she had to strain in order to hear it.

"Is it insomnia or dreams?" She asked.

"A little bit of both." He replied, opening his eyes and looking at her for a moment before staring at their joined hands.

"So that's why you don't want to go home at night." It was starting to make sense to her now. Josh never was very happy when he wasn't getting enough sleep. It wasn't like he needed 7 hours a night. Usually only 3 or 4 was enough for him. But if he wasn't even getting that, it explained his bad attitude.

"And that's why I have been in such a bad mood." He admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She was more than willing to listen or give advice if he wanted to talk.

"No." He chuckled. "I don't really want to get into it."

"It might help." She pointed out. "I know when I talk to someone about a problem it…"

Suddenly she saw him leaning over and before she knew what was going on, his lips were on hers. He was tentative at first, as if he was unsure. Maybe he thought she would pull away or slap him and run out of the room for kissing her. That kind of reaction never even crossed her mind. Maybe she should have pulled away though. But all she could think about was how good it felt to be kissing him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, which seemed to make him more comfortable. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her up against him, deepening the kiss as their tongues battled each other for dominance in a delicate dance.

Before they could go any further, his phone went off.

"Dammit." Josh whispered after pulling away. He didn't even look at her before getting up and answering the phone. "Yeah?...Ok…Yeah, I'll be right there."

She watched as he put the phone down and then looked at her. She could tell in that moment whatever spell they had been under was broken now. He was back to being all about business.

"Leo wants to see me now." He explained. "I have to go."

"No of course." She nodded.

"Donna, I…"

"Don't worry about it. It's fine." She shrugged him off. "Duty calls. Go see Leo."

He hesitated for a moment, looking at her and then the door before leaving the room.

She watched him leave, waiting until he was definitely gone before letting out a deep breath. This was certainly unexpected and she didn't know what to think or what to do. Kissing Josh like that was not something she envisioned happening tonight.

If he hadn't gotten the call from Leo, how far would they have let it go? How far did she want it to go? How far did Josh want it to go?

This had the potential to change everything between them. Sure they had kissed each other on the cheek before, but never like this and never with tongue. That kiss was far too intimate for them to easily remain boss/assistant. But did Josh mean anything by it?

That was the million dollar question.

She knew her feelings well, having spent so much time burying them so deep inside. Josh on the other hand, well she didn't know what was going through his head.

She resolved to go home since she didn't know how long his meeting with Leo would take. Besides, a little distance would be good for them right now, even if it was only a few hours.

She wouldn't bring it up tomorrow. She would let him be the one to bring it up if he wanted to talk about it since he was the one who started the kiss. And if he didn't bring it up, then that was her answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Happy Thoughts

Part 2

"Want one?" Sam Seaborn asked, holding up a beer.

Josh walked into the office and nodded, taking the beer before sitting on Sam's couch. Everyone agreed that it had been a good day. Their polling numbers went up a solid 9 percentage points in the party and another 12 percentage points among undecided voters following the State of the Union address yesterday. He should be happy. It was a good day for the campaign.

So why couldn't he be happy? One word—Donna.

Things were weird between him and Donna ever since he kissed her two weeks ago. Their normal working rhythm was off. There was a certain amount of distance between them that had formed. At first, the day after, he thought he was simply being paranoid. But on the second day he realized he was right. She was shutting him out and he found himself doing the same thing to her.

He knew he was doing it as a way to shield himself from any potential heartbreak but he couldn't figure out her reasoning.

"So what's going on with you and Donna?" Sam asked.

"What do you mean?" He decided to try and feign ignorance. "Nothing is going on with us."

"Josh, come on."

He sighed heavily. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine." Sam nodded. "But you should know that the whole office is talking about it behind your back."

"Talking about what exactly?" The last thing he needed was the office making this whole situation worse than it already was. He didn't think there was anyone still in the office when he kissed Donna but it was a possibility that someone saw it and then spread that news out.

"You and Donna are acting weird. No one knows why but there are several theories flying around."

He was glad that no one had seen the kiss. But the fact that the office was talking about him and Donna didn't make him feel happy. He reached over and shut the door to Sam's office. "What I say to you never leaves this room."

"Alright." Sam nodded.

"I may or may not have kissed her a couple of weeks ago." Josh admitted.

"Yes, that was one of the theories out there." Sam commented.

"And it wasn't just a kiss. It was one of those kisses that change your whole life, one of those kisses that would have gone much, much farther if Leo hadn't called and wanted to see me in his office." He thought back to how he felt in that moment. If it wouldn't have gotten him fired he would have ignored Leo's demand and stayed in the office with Donna. But duty had called and he reluctantly left her in his office. When he came back, she had left for the night. Although he wanted to go after her, he was paralyzed by fear and went back to his place instead.

"I see." Sam sighed.

He looked at his friend's face, certain that he would see some kind of judgmental look or condemnation about breaching the boss/assistant relationship boundaries that existed. But he didn't see that. He saw a mixed look of concern and, if he wasn't mistaken, happiness on Sam's face.

"What's with that look?" He asked Sam.

"What look?"

"Don't feign ignorance." He condemned his friend. "You have a look on your face."

"Of course I do. I always have a look on my face." Sam chided. "Faces can't be devoid of a look. It's impossible. Can you be a little more specific about the type of look you think I have?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "It's just a look."

"Well I know it isn't any of my business and you have every right to get mad at me for saying this but I have to say it as your friend. What the hell is going on with you and Donna? No one in this office believes that you are simply boss and assistant to each other but you aren't together either. You kissed and you call it life-changing, but you aren't 's almost like you are in this twilight zone grey area."

"I know." He nodded.

"How long do you think you can exist in that grey area?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." He shook his head.

"Well what do you know?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure anymore." He sighed.

"That's not true." Sam countered. "Now you have a look on your face."

"Of course I have a look on my face. You just got done telling me it was impossible for a face not to have a look on it! Can you be a little more specific about the type of look you think I have?" Josh asked in a snappy tone.

"It's the look you always get when you know the answer to the question but you refuse to say it." Sam explained.

He couldn't argue with that because Sam was right. He did have an answer to the question but he didn't know if he wanted to voice it to anyone.

"Look, you don't have to say what's on your mind to me if you don't want. But just keep in mind I will listen if you ever want to talk."

He looked at Sam and knew that his friend was being sincere. He also knew that Sam wouldn't go around telling people his secrets. Maybe it would be better if he confided in his friend. "I haven't been sleeping well lately."

"That would explain your bad mood." Sam chuckled.

"I am not in a bad mood. I'm just…never mind." He started to argue but realized it was a moot point. There was nothing he could say to change people's minds about his mood. "I keep having these dreams. They are incredibly vivid and I don't know what to do with them."

"Are they bad dreams?"

"No—at least not all of them are bad." He shook his head, thinking back to the one he had last night.

"_Donna?" He yelled, trying to get her attention since she was in the bathroom with the door closed. "What time is my first meeting today?" _

_The door opened and Donna appeared clad only in a white towel. "It's at 9:30 with the Commission for Veteran's Affairs." _

_He grinned and walked over to her, wrapping his arm around her waist. "What would I do without you keeping me on schedule?" _

"_You'd probably just get another assistant." She laughed. _

"_But they wouldn't be nearly as sexy or able to keep me in check as you are." He leaned down for a kiss. _

"_Of course not." She chuckled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And they wouldn't love you nearly as much as I do." _

"_Do you think we have enough time for me to take that towel off, throw you on the bed and have my way with you?" He asked, grinning at her. _

_She laughed heartily. "I think I can clear about 30 minutes from your schedule for that."_

"_That's not nearly enough time." He told her. _

"_Then I guess it's a good thing we have forever to be together." She smirked. _

"_A very good thing." He agreed. "No matter what I've done in my life, I know I've made at least two really good decisions." _

"_Oh yeah?" _

"_The first was hiring you." _

"_What was the second?" She asked. _

"_Asking you to marry me." _

Most of his dreams were about living in some kind of domestically blissful life with Donna. Those dreams were good of course but also caught him off-guard. Unfortunately not all of his dreams were like that.

"_Josh this isn't working out." Donna sighed, sitting on the couch. _

_He wished he could object and tell her she was wrong. He wished he could snap his fingers and make her happy. But the reality was their relationship just wasn't working out. They were too different and she wanted things from him that he wasn't able to give her. The past year had shown him that. He sat down on the couch next to her._

"_I know." He admitted softly. _

"_We need to break up." She whispered. _

"_I know." _

"_And you need to find a new assistant." _

_At that comment, his head whipped over to look at her. "What do you mean? Donna, are you quitting?" _

"_I am." She nodded. "I can't stay here now that we aren't together." _

"_You can't leave me." He practically pleaded. There was no way he could do this job without her. It was going to be hard enough to not be in a relationship with her anymore. If he couldn't even have her as a work colleague, he wasn't sure what he would do._

"_I'm sorry. I just can't stay." She apologized, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "I'll stay for two weeks while you hire someone else. But then I'm gone." _

_He watched as she walked out of the office, realizing that his life was about to get a whole lot worse without her._

"Now this is just a guess but are the dreams about Donna?" Sam asked, pulling Josh from his thoughts.

"How did you know?" He chuckled.

"Lucky guess." Sam shrugged.

"The truth is I like her and I'm afraid of that." He hated admitting it out-loud but had to at this point.

"Why?"

"Why am I afraid?" Josh chuckled, getting up and starting to pace around in front of Sam's desk. "Donna's more than just an assistant to me. She's my right hand. Most of the time she knows what I want before I even know. She knows how to handle me. She gets me. I can't do this job and be what I am without her. But if I…if we get together and it doesn't work…she might leave. And I can't handle that."

"Josh, you can't worry about what might happen…"

"What if she hates me now after what happened and I've already ruined things between us?" He interrupted his friend.

"Wait a minute. Have you two talked about what happened yet?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Well when I came back from Leo's office she wasn't there and then the next day it just never came up. Why?"

"You have to have the talk about what happened within a certain amount of time. You can't leave it hanging out there unresolved." Sam explained.

"It's too late to have the talk now." Josh reasoned. "Maybe I should just wait for things to go back to normal."

"That's called burying your head in the sand and it won't work."

He looked over at his friend and sighed. He didn't have a good argument against Sam's comment.

"You have to be honest with Donna about your feelings. I can't guarantee anything, but you aren't doing either of you any favors by ignoring what happened."

"What if she leaves?" He asked quietly.

"You can't make someone stay." Sam answered. "And she might leave tomorrow. She might leave five years from now or ten years from now. Or she might stay forever. That's the thing though…no one knows what the future holds. All you can do is live your life to the fullest, and that includes telling Donna about your feelings."

"I'll think about it." He grumbled, taking the beer with him and heading back to his own office. He walked back to his office, hoping to see Donna at her desk. Her desk was empty though. He wondered briefly if she was in his office but was disappointed when entering his office and finding that empty as well.

He sat on the couch, feeling slightly defeated. Donna's words rang through his head about recognizing the good parts of life. He called it rubbish at first, primarily because he didn't believe in self-help doctrines. Usually self-help books were made by idiots who just wanted to make money off of people by sprouting good advice and passing it off as some kind of ancient wisdom that would solve all of their problems. But he grew to like the exercise and had been doing it a lot lately. It gave him a moment to sit back, relax and think of happy thoughts. The thing at the top of the list was always Donna.

He laid back and closed his eyes, thinking about her. The dreams he was having were wreaking havoc on his life, making him simultaneously wanting to and not wanting to dream about her. Truthfully over the past few years he had thought about her in a romantic way at various times. But it was usually a fleeting thing—more of a what if situation than anything he took too seriously. He always played it off as nothing more than an easy flirtation.

Then he got her that watch for Christmas. It was pure luck that he heard her talking to Margaret about her watch breaking. While Donna always gave him a list of what she wanted for Christmas, he had never once bought her anything. And he wasn't even sure what possessed him to look at watches while Christmas shopping for his mother.

Once he saw the watch he knew it had to belong to Donna. He could see it hanging on her wrist and imagined her thinking about him every time she looked at it for the time. That was the moment he realized he was in trouble. That was the moment he realized he had feelings for her.

The dreams didn't start until after he gave the present to Donna and saw the look of pure adoration she held for the gift. She truly loved the watch and he couldn't help but wonder if she would or even could look at him with that much fervor.

It was surprising to him that he relaxed quickly but it shouldn't have been that surprising to him. He let his whole body relax completely and was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear anyone come into his office.

"Oh sorry." Donna said. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

He opened his eyes to see Donna standing by his desk with some folders in her hands. "It's fine."

"I just came in to leave the research you'll need for your meeting tomorrow." She explained, placing the folders on the desk.

"Thank you." He smiled. "You caught me doing the exercise you taught me."

"Yeah, looks like it." She nodded before starting towards the door.

"Donna."

"Yes?" She stopped and turned to face him.

"Do you have a moment to sit and talk?" He motioned to the couch seat next to him and noticed that she looked like she was trying to come up with a reason to say no. "Please?"

"Alright." She came and sat down next to him. "Actually there is something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Me too." He said, wondering if they were both going to bring up the same topic. "How about ladies first?"

"Ok." She paused for a moment. "I will be putting in my two weeks' notice tomorrow."

He was stunned and was certain he had to have heard that wrong. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I have gotten another job offer and I'm taking it."

He stared at her, trying to make sure that this wasn't a joke. But her face told him she was serious. She was really planning on quitting. This was a nightmare. It had to be a nightmare. There was no way she would actually leave this job or him. Right?

"I'll help you find someone else and help train them on everything they need to know. I'll try to make the transition as easy as possible."

"Why?" That was the only thing he could say at the moment.

"Because I assumed you would want me to help with finding my replacement." She explained.

"No. I mean why are you leaving? What job could be better than this?"

"Program Director of the Children's Literacy Group." Donna answered.

"What does that job have that this job doesn't?"

"Better money, better title, better work/life balance…do I need to go on?"

"You can't leave, Donna." He couldn't wrap his mind around this.

"I didn't realize I signed an indentured servitude document when I came to work here." She chuckled. "I can quit if I want."

"Is this because of what happened with us?" There was no way to ask it without being blunt.

"Is that what you think? You think I would let something that happened with a guy determine my life plans?"

"It's not such a stretch. You did it before-twice." As soon as he said that and referred to her ex, he knew he had lost the battle. The look on her face had turned to stone and she stood up.

"I told you tonight as a courtesy so you wouldn't get blindsided tomorrow when everyone else finds out. Now that I have done that, I'm going home. Goodnight Josh."

Before he could apologize or do anything, she was gone. He wanted to run after her but wasn't sure what good it would do. Bringing up her ex was a low blow and she had every reason to be angry with him. He was angry with himself.

Sam was right. He had to be honest with Donna. But first he had to be honest with himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Happy Thoughts

Part 3

Donna sat on her couch, her feet curled up underneath her and an almost empty pint of ice cream in her hand. Tonight had gone about as well as she expected while telling Josh about her new job. She knew that he would be upset and lash out. The comment about her letting a guy determine her life again was a low blow though.

She expected better from him. Although she was mad, she couldn't be too angry with him. She knew that her leaving was a shock. He didn't like change and probably didn't relish the idea of having to train someone new. He also wasn't too far from the truth. In a way she was letting a guy dictate her life plans, just not the way he meant.

The job she was taking was a good one. It had been offered to her almost three weeks ago and back then she dismissed it immediately, the same way she dismissed every job offer that came her way.

Then there was the night of the kiss.

That kiss was amazing. There were times late at night where she wondered what kissing Josh would be like. The real thing was much better than her imagination. After he left for Leo's office she realized that no matter what happened, they couldn't go back to the way they were before. Everything was going to change.

She wasn't sure what to expect the next morning with Josh. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to happen. But she did figure they would talk about the kiss. He might even say that it was a mistake and it shouldn't happen again.

Instead, he ignored it. He acted like nothing had happened and it was a normal day. At first she thought he was just waiting until they had a moment alone, but as the day went on she began to think he wasn't going to mention it at all. She became angry and started ignoring his attempts to engage in witty conversation with her.

Soon after they just stopped speaking to each other unless it was necessary. That's when she decided to take a closer look at the job offer.

It was definitely more money and more responsibility. It was a good cause and she could really make a difference in the lives of countless kids. But it didn't have her friends and it didn't have Josh.

The last thing she wanted to do was become the kind of woman that pined after a man who clearly didn't want her. That's what she felt she would become if she stayed. That's why she felt she needed to leave.

Still…a part of her wished for a different outcome.

Getting off the couch, she headed to her kitchen. She reached into her refrigerator and pulled out a water bottle. Just as she was about to open it, there was a knock on her door. Looking at the clock she saw that it was 11pm. She put the water on the counter, sighed and walked to the door, not surprised to find Josh on the other side. He was the only person that would come to her door this late. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here because we aren't done with this discussion." He replied.

"I wasn't aware that it was a discussion." She pointed out. "I thought it was more of a heads up done as a curtesy."

"And I thought of it more like a discussion that is open to negotiation."

"It isn't." She shook her head.

"Everything in life is open to negotiation."

"Not this." She shook her head.

"I know I was out of line with the comment I made. I'm sorry." He apologized. "I didn't handle this well. In fact I haven't handled a lot of things well."

"That's an understatement." She rolled her eyes. It did mean a lot that he was apologizing. That wasn't something he did often. Normally he would just laugh it all off.

"Can I come in?"

She wasn't sure she should let him in. She was pretty sure that if she let him in, he would find a way to get her not to quit.

"Please?" He added.

She took a long look at him and saw something uncommon in his eyes. Panic. He might actually be afraid of losing her. But was he afraid of losing her at work or in general? Curiosity got the better of her and she stood off to the side.

"I'm only letting you in because I don't want to have this conversation in the hallway." It was a lie and she was certain he knew that. They stood in the entryway of her apartment and she crossed her arms over her chest. "So?"

"Donna, I know things between us are weird right now but you can't just go and take the first job that comes along like this. I mean…"

"It isn't the first job." She interrupted him, seeing the look of confusion on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I get a couple of different job offers every month."

"You've never said anything about that before." He pointed out.

"Why should I?" She questioned. "I wasn't planning on taking those jobs so it didn't seem relevant."

"But you are planning on taking this job." He stated.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Why?" He asked. "Why this job? Why right now?"

"Why not right now?" She countered. "It's a good job with more money and an office. It's more of a career and I would get to help out with childhood literacy. It's a good cause."

"But don't you love being number 2 in the ranking of assistants behind Margaret? You practically run the assistants in the bullpen."

"I'll have new people to boss around as a program director." She pointed out.

"What about your patriotic duty?"

"I can still be a patriot without working for the White House."

"You really want to leave the president while he is running for re-election? He needs you."

His rapid fire questions were beginning to get on her nerves. She wasn't naïve enough to believe he was actually speaking about the president at this point. It was thinly veiled. "The president will be just fine. He doesn't need me as much as you think he does."

"You really want to leave your friends?" He asked.

"I'll still be friends with everyone if I take a different job. And I might even make some new friends. Josh, we could go around and around about this but it won't change…"

"Alright, you really want to leave me?" He asked, pulling out the big question. "After everything that we have been though? You really want to leave me?"

She was quiet for a moment. He was right. They had been through a lot together. No matter what label she put on it, she couldn't deny that he was more than just a boss to her. He always had been and he always will be.

But after they kissed, he ignored it. He ignored her.

That kiss had stirred something up in her that she had been trying to squash for a long time. If she was being honest, she didn't want to pretend anymore. It was exhausting to pretend that she didn't have feelings for him and she was exhausted from the fight. But he didn't seem to have that problem, which was why she needed to leave. A new, fresh start would be best for them. He would be fine. She would make sure her replacement was capable and willing to put up with the many moods of Josh Lyman. Everything would be fine. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

"I need an answer to this because it's important." He demanded. "We have been through a lot. Hell, you practically moved in when I was recovering from being shot."

She remembered that time well. She would split her day between the White House and checking on Josh, making sure he wasn't being hassled with work. And then after work she would cook his dinner and keep him company. There were a couple of times she accidentally fell asleep on his couch with her head on his shoulder while they were watching movies or talking.

"Well someone needed to make sure you weren't overdoing things and that the rest of the White House wasn't enabling you by letting you work. If I had left it up to you, you would have just moved into your office and recovered there. "

"Yeah." He chuckled. "I probably would have. But honestly, I don't think I would have made it without you."

"I'm not the one who took the bullet out or stitched you back together." She objected.

"In a way you kind of did."

She knew what he was doing. He was playing on her sentimental side to get her to try and stay. But she couldn't let him. She had to stay strong about this.

"Josh, you don't really need me as much as you think you do." She scoffed. "Anyone can be your assistant."

"No, they really can't." He shook his head. "Because you are so much more than an assistant. You're my right hand. You know me. You understand me. We can communicate with just a glance and know what the other is thinking. I can't do my job without you."

"That's insane." She chuckled.

"It's the truth."

"Well I'm sure after a while you will have the same level of comfortability with your new assistant. It will just take some time."

"Donna, I'm running out of ways to tell you that I need you. And it's not just at work. I need you in my life."

"We'll still be friends." She pointed out. "I'll still be in your life."

"That's not good enough for me." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well what do you want from me?" She was starting to get frustrated by this conversation. She knew Josh wouldn't take her leaving well but she never expected he would put up this kind of a fight about it. "Do you want me to pinky swear we will always be friends? Maybe I could sign your yearbook with some obscure, generic quote about how time will never…"

"Donna will you just shut up for one minute?" He started to yell. "I'm trying to tell you that I don't want to just be friends. I have feelings for you-real feelings."

She was surprised that he yelled, but his message left her gob smacked. "Wh-what?"

"I have feelings for you." He repeated, uncrossing his arms and softening his tone. "Feelings that are romantic. When I kissed you, I didn't want it to stop. I never wanted to stop kissing you and I've been replaying that kiss in my mind on a loop ever since."

"Josh…"

"Let me finish." He interrupted. "I have had feelings for you for a while now. I just haven't wanted to say anything because I didn't want to chance losing you. But now you're leaving so I guess I have nothing left to lose by telling you. And I realize that I should have told you all of this right after we kissed but I didn't know how."

She stared at him, trying to decipher what he was saying. He looked sincere, contrite and nervous. All three things were un-like him. She wanted so badly to believe him and believe in him.

"Are you going to say anything?" He finally asked, breaking the spell.

She looked down at the floor and then at him. "I'm not sure what to say."

He grinned. "You could start by saying that you feel the same way. Or at least tell me how you do feel about me."

There was that grin again—that damn grin of his that made her want to do whatever he asked. She took a deep breath, finally realizing what she needed to say to him. "You want the truth?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I want nothing but the truth. Be brutal with the truth. Hit me with it."

"Alright." She nodded, taking a deep breath. "If you want to know how I feel about you, I will tell you. I think you are the most infuriating man I have ever met."

"Uh…"

She watched as he started to squirm but continued with her rant. "I mean it. You have this gift of being able to make me angrier than anyone I've ever known. It's actually almost impressive. There are times I just want to shove you into a meat locker and leave you there to freeze. I wouldn't do it of course but sometimes imagining that makes me feels better."

"I think I have miscalculated this situation." He said quietly.

She saw him slowly inching his way to her door and beat him to it, standing in front of the door to block his exit. "You asked for brutal honesty."

"Yeah but that was before I knew you pretty much hated me." He complained with a heavy sigh. "Donna, will you move please?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm not letting you leave yet."

"Why not?"

She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was starting to get annoyed. That was fine with her. "I'm not done talking yet."

"Fine." He sighed again. "Go on."

"You are always one of, if not the smartest man in any room. You certainly know it and you make sure everyone else does too. You use it to your advantage and try to show others your intelligence by throwing out some random quote or fact you think others won't know. You're cocky, arrogant and you act like a ten year old boy sometimes. Your walk is…well it's more like a strut, like you are trying to let everyone know by the way you move that you are the man."

"Out of curiosity, how long are you planning on roasting me?" He asked, looking very uncomfortable at this point.

"As long as I want." She answered with a smirk. "There are so many things you are simply hopeless about…computers, relationships, picking a decent baseball team to root for…"

"Alright. That's enough." He shook his head. "I can't take this anymore, especially if you are going to drag the Mets into it."

"I'm actually almost done. I just have one more thing to say." She informed him.

"Fine." He shrugged, staring at the floor. "Just say it so I can leave."

"Ok." She nodded. He was looking defeated at this time and she realized she was in danger of taking this thing too far. It was time to course correct. "The last thing I was going to say is that you care about the people around you. You want to make a difference in both the lives of strangers and the people in your life you care about. If I'm ever in trouble and can only have one person help me, I would choose you no matter what the situation was because I know you would move Heaven and Earth to make it alright."

She saw his head pop up and he looked at her quizzically but she just kept going. "Even when you are annoying me and I want to throw you in that meat locker, I still come back because there's something special about you. You inspire others to be greater than they were. You inspire me to be greater."

"What are you saying?" He asked cautiously.

"I'm saying that I have real feelings for you too."

"Really?" He grinned.

"Really." She smiled back. They stood there for a moment as they stared at each other, both seemingly paralyzed by uncertainty. She finally had enough and closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms around his neck. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"So…" He whispered.

"Yeah." She whispered back.

"You really had me going there." He scoffed. "I thought…well I thought you despised me."

"I couldn't help messing with you a little." She admitted.

"Are you still going to quit?"

"We can talk about that later." She told him.

"Are we really going to…"

"Just shut up and kiss me before I find a meat locker to throw you into." She chuckled.

"I can do that." He grinned.


	4. Chapter 4

Happy Thoughts

Part 4

Josh woke up and worried for a moment about why there was an arm slung over his chest until he realized it was Donna's. A smile formed on his face as he thought back to last night. It had been incredible and he took the opportunity to look over at her. Even asleep with messy hair she was beautiful.

He still couldn't believe that she had feelings for him too. It felt like it was too good to be true, like the other shoe was going to drop at any minute. He tried to push that thought out of his mind though, especially since Donna was starting to wake up.

She stretched and opened her eyes, smiling when she saw him. "Good morning."

He reached over and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "Now it's a great morning."

"What time is it?"

He looked over at the clock. "6:34."

"You have a meeting with the Minority Leader at 8:30." She rattled off the top of her head. "You should probably get up since you have to go back to your place first."

"Yeah, I should." He agreed, pulling her closer to him. "But I don't want to."

"Josh…" She chuckled. "You can't be late for the meeting. You don't want to give him any more reasons to be angry."

"I know. I won't be late." He promised, turning the conversation to something more serious. "So does this…does last night mean that we are…you know, together now?"

"Like dating?" She asked.

"Yeah, like dating." He nodded. "Or was this a one-time thing for you?"

He saw the look on her face change. She seemed to be trying to read him so he kept his face as stoic as possible. He wanted to know where they stood and he didn't want to pressure her or lead her in any way.

"I don't want this to be a one-time thing." She said quietly after a moment's pause. "Is that what you want?"

"No." He shook his head. "That's the last thing I want."

"Ok. Good." She smiled. "Then that means we are kind of dating."

"Good. Are you still planning on announcing your resignation today?" He hated bringing it up but it was a conversation they needed to have.

The smile on her face fell. "That's a conversation we don't have time for right now."

"So you are planning on still leaving." He stated, letting out a deep sigh. He was hoping that after last night she would stay. Apparently he was wrong.

"Like I said, we don't have time for this conversation right now. You have to get going. So why don't we talk about everything tonight?"

"You mean you won't sneak your resignation in without me knowing today?" He asked, just making sure.

"No. I promise." She smiled. "I won't make any more moves on this until after we talk tonight."

"Alright." He realized that was the best answer he was going to get right now and decided to let it go. But he was going to hold her to it that they would discuss it tonight.

"Now will you please go so you aren't late for Tripplehorn?" She laughed, kissing him on the cheek.

"Fine." He agreed reluctantly. "But I want it noted that I would much rather stay in bed with you."

"It is noted." She smiled.

"I'll see you at the office." He gave her one last kiss before getting out of the bed to find his clothes.

* * *

"You seem like you're in a good mood, considering that you had that meeting with Tripplehorn today." Sam chuckled as they passed in the hallway.

"What can I say?" Josh laughed. "It's just been a good day."

"Did things go well with the meeting?"

"No." Josh shook his head and scoffed. "Tripplehorn won't budge."

"So then what makes it a good day?"

He could see that Sam was lost and hadn't put all of the pieces together. He motioned for Sam to go into Sam's office and followed the man, closing the door behind him. "Donna and I..."

"You had the talk?"

"Sort of." He answered. "There was some talking last night and then a lot of not talking."

"Ah." Sam smiled. "Well I'm happy for you both. No wonder you are in a good mood."

"Thanks." He knew his friend meant it. "There's just one problem. She wants to quit. She has another job all lined up and everything."

"Where would she go?"

"Program Director of the Children's Literacy Group." He replied, releasing a deep sigh. "I don't want her to take it obviously but I don't know how to convince her to…" He trailed off when he noticed Sam seemed deep in thought about something. "What's going on?"

"The Children's Literacy Group?" Sam repeated.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Why?"

"Rumor has it they are getting ready to launch an attack against the President, claiming the Education bill doesn't do enough to promote basic literacy goals and they want to attach an amendment to any one of the bills in play right now to correct it." Sam explained.

"Dammit." He was so mad right now he could punch the wall. "They really think the education bill doesn't do enough? What more do they want?"

"I don't know that." Sam admitted. "You have to admit though, there were some things that had to be cut."

"Yeah but it was cut for the greater good to make sure that they bill would get passed. The things that got cut are things that are impossible to move through Congress right now."

"Apparently they didn't like that." Sam pointed out.

"You know as well as I do that if those provisions stayed in there was no way the bill would pass."

"I know."

He stared off to the side for a moment and thought about this. "Do you think that they offered Donna a job because…"

"She works for you and it was your bill?" Sam finished the question for him. "I wouldn't be surprised if that factored into their decision. But I can't say for certain."

"I have to go make some calls." He stormed out of the office, intent on finding out the truth once and for all.

* * *

Josh knocked on Donna's door, nervous about the conversation they needed to have. But he needed to tell her the truth. It wouldn't be fair to her if he kept things from her, especially things that concerned her.

"Hey." She greeted with a smile when she opened the door. "Good timing. The food just got here. I hope Chinese is alright. I forgot to ask you before I left the office."

"That's fine." He smiled.

"What's with the bag?"

"It's just some clothes for tomorrow on the off chance you let me stay the night again." He replied sheepishly. "I know we didn't talk about that but that way I could save some time in the morning and not have to rush off." He felt like an awkward teenager, explaining that to her and expected her to tease him about it.

"That's a great idea." She leaned in and kissed him, grabbing the bag and tossing it on the floor before dragging him into her apartment. "I didn't like you rushing off this morning."

"Well good." He smiled, surprised but grateful she didn't tease him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "You know, it was difficult not to keep staring at you today."

"I know." She nodded. "It's the new shampoo I'm using. It really makes my hair so shiny. I can understand your fascination with it."

"Nope, that's not it." He chuckled. "But your hair is lovely."

"I know what you mean though." She admitted. "I felt the same way."

"I think it might be my new shampoo." He teased.

She planted a kiss on his lips and then broke out of his grasp. "I have everything set up on the coffee table."

He followed her over, sitting next to her on the couch and grabbing some noodles. "So I have a small confession."

"What is it?" She asked, grabbing a container.

"I told Sam about us." He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. They hadn't talked about letting other people know about what was going on between them. They didn't even have a label for what this was yet. So he could understand if she got mad about him sharing the news without talking to her first. But tonight was about honesty.

"Was it just Sam?" She asked after a moment.

"Yes."

"Ok." She nodded.

"You aren't mad?" That was surprising.

"No." She shook her head. "Sam is trustworthy and I don't think he will go spreading it around. It's fine."

"Oh. Ok." He took her acceptance as a gift because he knew she wasn't going to be happy with what he was about to say. "He did say something that made me a little nervous though."

"Really?" She asked. "What?"

"He said that the Children's Literacy Group is prepping an attack against the White House to get the provisions that were cut from the education bill passed as an amendment in a different bill."

After saying that, he looked over at her. On the outside she looked calm but she soon put her container back down on the coffee table. "Donna? Did you hear what I just said?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I heard you."

"I made some calls today and I found out that Sam is right. They are quietly shopping an amendment around to Senators in hopes that one of them will take up their mantle. It also means…"

"I know what you think it means." She interrupted. "You think it means that they just hired me as a tool, an instrument to embarrass you, the President and the administration. You think they want to use me since you spearheaded the education bill."

"I do think that." He conceded. "I think the only reason they went after hiring you was so they could gain more political traction with Senators by showing them they had the Deputy Chief of Staff's former assistant on their side for this fight."

She stood up and walked over to the window, crossing her arms over her chest and staring outside.

"Donna, I don't think you should take the job."

"You have never thought I should take the job." She pointed out softly.

"True, but now I have another, better reason." He admitted.

"Let's take this job off the table for a moment." She sighed. "The real issue here is I can't stay as your assistant." She told him, turning to face him. "If I stay, then we can't be together."

"Says who?" He laughed.

"Says politics!" She answered. "There is no scenario where a story about the President's Deputy Chief of Staff dating his assistant goes over well. It will always go badly."

"So what?" He shrugged. "It would just be a story that lasts a couple of news cycles and then goes away."

"No it wouldn't go away Josh and you know it." She paused for a moment, looking at the ground. "The President has a tough campaign ahead of him. You and I both know that. He hasn't fully won back the American people after admitting that he had MS but kept it a secret and he certainly hasn't fully won them over after the censure. He's doing better but it's not good enough. Everyone is still in damage control mode. The campaign is going to be close. And this thing between us…it has the potential to be a dirty bomb for the campaign, you, and our relationship. It could blow everything up and I won't let that happen."

"I don't agree with you."

"You don't agree because you don't want to admit that I'm right."

"You aren't right." He told her, starting to get frustrated. He stood up and walked over to her.

"Should I call up Joey and have her run up some numbers to prove to you I'm right?" She offered. "Or should I just call up Leo and explain it to him? Because you know that a poll and Leo would both tell you the same thing I'm saying. It is bad optics and an unnecessary risk. You just don't want to hear it."

"You're damn right I don't want to hear it!" He yelled. "I don't want you to leave the White House!"

"I can only stay if we aren't together." She told him. "So maybe you need to think about that. Do you want me as an assistant or as a girlfriend?"

"Why does it have to be one or the other?" He sighed.

"Because this is Washington and no one gets everything they want here. Everyone has to compromise." She chuckled. "You were the one who taught me that."

"I need you as both." He admitted.

"I don't want to be the reason that the President has a harder time winning a second term." She stated calmly.

"To hell with that!" He exclaimed.

"Look, I have been thinking about this all day and I know in my heart that I am right. A story about the President's Deputy Chief of Staff dating his assistant is going to blow up in his face. It's not a fair world we live in but it is the truth. It will end badly for the President and it will cause problems for us."

"Taking the job with the Children's Literacy Group will also cause problems with us." He pointed out. "They are serious about these provisions and if you take a job with them we are going to be on opposite sides."

"I know." She nodded.

"I'll have to fight against you and your job."

"I know."

He studied her face carefully. "You still plan on taking the job, don't you?"

"Yes." She nodded again. "I do."

"How can you when you know that their motives in offering you the job aren't pure?" It made no sense to him why she would still want the job when she knew the real reason she got it.

"In politics, no one's motives are pure." She answered. "It's another thing you taught me."

"But you are only getting the job because of your connection to me." He explained. "I mean, think about it. You are going from an assistant to a program director overnight. That doesn't just happen."

"Of course." She scoffed. "I couldn't also be getting the job because of talent."

"I didn't mean it like that…"

"I think you did." She interrupted. "You keep telling me that the only reason I got the job is because of you. You say you need me as your assistant because apparently I'm invaluable but you refuse to believe that someone else might think I am bound for something more than just being an assistant. So which one is it? "

"Donna, you know that's not what I meant." He sighed. "Of course I think you are bound to be something more than an assistant. I just don't want to lose you."

She closed the gap between them and gave him a hug. "If we are going to do this and have a relationship, then you need to trust me."

"Donna, I trust you with my life."

She pulled out of the hug just enough for him to see her face. "Then trust me when I tell you that this is the way it has to be. I have to quit the White House and I'm taking this job. Everything is going to be fine."

"I don't share your optimism." He warned. "They are going to use you. They will pit you against me and the White House. If this thing gets ugly, you'll be the enemy and you know what that means."

"I know." She nodded. "But it's going to be fine. You'll see."

"I don't like this."

"I know." She kissed him. "But this is what needs to happen. And I believe we can handle whatever the world throws at us because we are Josh and Donna."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair. He didn't believe that everything would be fine. He wanted to argue more, try to convince her that she needed to stay or at least find a different job. But she had her determined look on her face and he knew from experience that when she got that look there was no changing her mind.

He just had to hope for the best.


	5. Chapter 5

Happy Thoughts

Part Five

Six weeks later

Donna straightened her suit jacket out before knocking on her boss' door.

"Come in!" Came the booming voice of Ted Williamson.

She entered and sat down when Ted motioned to the chair.

"Donna, thank you for coming in." Ted smiled from behind his desk.

"No problem sir." She smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"You have been with us for about a month now, right?" Ted asked.

"Yes."

"How are you adjusting?" He questioned. "How are you liking our operation? I know it isn't quite like what you are used to, after working at the White House."

"No, it's not quite the same." She chuckled. "But I'm enjoying it here. The people are great and it's been a relatively easy adjustment."

"Good!" He smiled. "I'm so glad to hear it because I have a project that I think you will be perfect for and I wanted to give it to you myself so I can explain a few things."

"Alright." She was glad to be given a new project. The projects she was given when she first started were easy and she wondered if they were simply a test to see what level she was at before being given something more substantial.

"I assume you are aware of the education bill that was passed recently, right?"

"Yes." She nodded, a pit forming in her stomach as she figured out what her project was.

"There were several provisions that were cut before it went to a vote." Ted explained. "Now these provisions are extremely important and they need to actioned, which is why we want to get them attached to another bill as an amendment."

"I see."

"I'm trusting you with this project because I know you will be able to make sure it is completed. I have faith in your ability to get this done. Frankly, your previous ties to the White House are a huge asset to this team and will enable you to have certain insights no one else on the team could possibly imagine. The previous team I assigned hasn't had much luck."

And there it was. Josh warned her that she was hired because of her ties to the White House and here was the proof.

She had told Josh that it didn't matter if they only hired her because of her ties to the White House, but it did matter a little to her. All she was trying to do as prove that she was capable of more than just being an assistant. She didn't think it was many young girls' dreams to stay an assistant their entire lives and it certainly wasn't hers. She had seen Josh be so good at his job that she couldn't help but crave that kind of respect. She thought going out on her own, away from Josh and the White House may be the way to do it.

Ultimately, who cares what got her in the door though? At least she was here to play the game. And play the game she would. She resolved to make sure that this amendment not only got attached to a bill but also got passed.

"Our previous attempts to get Senators or Representatives on our side have failed." He handed her a report. "All of our previous action are outlined in there, including which members of Congress we have approached. I'm hoping a fresh set of eyes and a change in the team leadership will help this project take off."

She flipped through the report, scanning the document to see who had been approached.

"So what do you think?" Ted asked. "Do you think you can do it?"

She looked at her boss and smiled. One of the basic things she had learned from Josh was that no matter what, if someone in a position of power asked you if you could do something, you always replied affirmatively. "Of course, sir."

"Wonderful!" Ted beamed. "Let me know if you need anything. This is a top priority project so I don't mind throwing as many resources in as necessary. You have my full authority to do whatever it takes."

"Thank you sir." She said, getting up from the chair and heading out of the office. She closed the door to Ted's office after she left and stood there for a moment. Josh wasn't going to be happy about this.

For a moment she considered not telling him, but realized that was stupid. He would find out one way or the other. It would be better if he found out from her. But he wasn't going to be happy since the education bill was his responsibility. He struggled with getting that bill passed for weeks, and she knew the reasons the provisions had been cut. The votes simply weren't there for that section. And she was now tasked with fixing that problem.

She had a feeling this could cause some problems with them if she wasn't careful about her approach. As she walked back to her office she thought back to the last six weeks and how good things had been between them.

True to her word, she had found an assistant for him that was working out so far. The only problem was her name was Dakota, like the state. She had interviewed several candidates who might have worked, but ended up picking Dakota because of the name, knowing that Josh would be both amused and annoyed every time he said the name. He had mentioned once that parents shouldn't name their children after states and she couldn't help leaving him with one last tiny prank.

Their relationship was going well. Unless he was out of town traveling for the campaign they took turns staying the night at each other's apartments. They even had some clothes they kept at the others' apartment so they wouldn't have to constantly bring a bag every night. Some might have called it fast and too much too soon, but she didn't care.

It still felt like she didn't see him enough.

She went from seeing him all day at work to only a few hours in the evenings and weekends. It was a hard adjustment—at least for her. If Josh was having any problems with it he wasn't saying anything to her about it.

While she tried to stop herself, she had fallen in love with him and came to that realization last weekend.

"_Donna! You are out of milk!" Josh yelled from the kitchen. _

_She turned the corner to see him pour the last of the milk into his cereal. "Josh…" _

"_What?" He asked, slapping a grin on his face. "I needed milk for my cereal. You know I like to have cereal with milk while watching the Sunday political shows. It's practically a tradition." _

_She sighed and planted a kiss on him. "Well since you used the last of it, you can go get more later." _

"_Um, I think I'll be busy later." He chuckled. _

"_Doing what?" She asked, looking at him quizzically. _

"_Rocking your world in bed?" He guessed._

"_Only after you get the milk." She whispered in his ear. _

"_Alright. You drive a hard bargain." He groaned, walking over to her couch and turning on the TV. _

_Meet the Press was about to start and she knew he was going to be occupied for the next hour. She grabbed a muffin from the counter and went over to sit on the other side of the couch to watch with him. _

_A few moments later he surprised her by lightly grabbing her arm and motioning for her to sit closer. She scooted over and he wrapped his arm around her, eating his cereal with one hand, all while still watching Meet the Press. _

_She looked over at him and smiled before resting her head on his shoulder. _

That was the moment she knew she was a goner. While she had loved Josh for a long time, she was now in love with him—which she took to be a completely different thing. You could love someone without being in love with them. That was one of the leading causes of divorce in the country. But for better or worse, her heart now belonged to Josh.

She wouldn't say anything to him about it though. She knew he didn't deal well to change, and he had been given a lot of change lately. The last thing she wanted to do was spook him.

* * *

Later that day, she stood in the waiting area of Minority Leader Wendell Tripplehorn. After reading the report Ted gave her cover to cover, she realized no one had approached the Minority Leader yet. While she realized that it was a long shot, she knew that Tripplehorn wasn't exactly thrilled with the President or Josh right now and that meant there was a small chance she could persuade him to work on this with her.

"It will be just another couple of minutes." His secretary told her.

"No problem." She smiled. Her phone started to ring and she quickly grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Donna. Where did you put the files on the last primary polls?" Josh asked.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. This wasn't the first time he had called asking for direction about where she had put something. Sometimes she wondered if he did it because he wanted an excuse to call her, but she would never ask him that. "It's in the filing cabinet for that year under May."

"I though Dakota looked there." He said absentmindedly.

She heard him yell the location to Dakota.

"So how is your day going?" He asked.

"Fine." She answered. "And yours?"

"Oh same old, same old." He chuckled. "Hey, what do you want to do about dinner tonight? I was thinking maybe I could bring some pizza?"

"Actually, I was thinking of cooking." She explained.

"Well that definitely sounds much better than pizza." He laughed.

"Any idea when you are getting out of there?"

"The way the day is going, probably around 8."

"I'll have everything ready for 9:30." She told him, knowing that he was never able to correctly gauge the time he could leave.

"You're the best." He sighed.

"Senator Tripplehorn will see you now." The secretary said loudly.

Donna grimaced, knowing that Josh heard that on the other end of the phone.

"Hey, Donna, what are you doing in Tripplehorn's office?" Josh inquired.

"Nothing." She lied quickly. "I've got to go. See you tonight."

She hung up and put the phone away before entering Tripplehorns' office. "Leader, thank you for meeting with me on such short notice." She reached out and shook his hand.

"Of course, Miss Moss." He smiled. "When you mentioned it was about the education bill I was intrigued. You said you are with the Children's Literacy Group now but you used to work for Josh Lyman, correct? As his assistant I believe?"

"That is correct." Now that he was seated, she sat down in front of his desk.

"It's nice to see that you landed somewhere more deserving of your talents."

"Thank you sir."

"You must be aware of the fight Josh had getting that bill passed." Tripplehorn commented.

"I am, sir." She nodded.

"And I believe I know why you are here." Tripplehorn chuckled. "Your group has quietly been approaching member of Congress on both sides of the aisle to get an amendment going with the parts of the education bill Josh axed."

"Yes." She admitted. "Though to be fair, this is my first day leading the project."

"First day, huh?" He laughed heartily. "And you came straight to me. I'm honored. I was beginning to think that I wasn't worthy of being asked."

"Well I think the previous team was most likely hesitant to visit you because of your reported good relationship with the Bartlet administration." Donna volunteered.

"I like how you put that, Miss Moss." He said, sitting back in his chair. "Reported good relationship. You're a straight shooter, Miss Moss and I like that."

"Please, call me Donna." She corrected him. "And I say reported because you and I both know that you aren't happy with a lot of the things going on in the administration and…"

"And you were hoping that I would be willing to cause a ruckus by working with you to get these provisions passed." He finished her sentence for her.

She had to admit that the man was good at reading people and situations. But so was she. "You are correct, sir."

"You should know that Josh has already been by to warn me that someone from your group might try to sway me."

This was news to her but she didn't let it show.

"In fact, Josh has made his way around to every member in Congress in the past few weeks, trying to scare them into refusing whatever offer your group makes, saying that the White House won't let a special interest group dictate policy. I would suppose that's why your group hasn't had any luck so far."

The fact that Josh had been doing this for the past few weeks made her furious at first until she realized that it was his job. He had to do it, just like she had to do what she was about to do.

"What Josh doesn't realize is that we aren't trying to dictate policy." She explained. "We are simply trying to reintroduce something that was grossly and recklessly taken out of the bill. It was in the original bill for a reason and we want to rectify his mistake. He was wrong to take it out of the bill and should have fought harder for it, for America's children. But we are more than happy to take up the mantle and fight for America's children since he wasn't able to. We just need a senator who is brave enough to help us."

Tripplehorn was quiet for a few moments and she wondered if she went too far. After analyzing the report, it became clear to her that this was their best option. If this didn't work, she wasn't sure what the next step would be—especially with Josh going around to Congress. His head start wasn't good for her.

"I'll be perfectly honest with you, Donna. When you came in here, I was on the fence about this. I figured I would listen to you and then send you on your way because I didn't think a former assistant would be able to convince me to do something like this. But you are no ordinary former assistant, are you? You know how to read people, how to say what they need to hear to feel comfortable enough doing what they wanted to do in the first place. I appreciate that. So I'll help you."

"Really?" It took her a moment to regain her composure because she truly didn't expect it to be so easy to convince him.

"Absolutely." He said, standing up. "Get with my secretary on the way out. Have her carve out some time in the next few days for us to strategize the next step."

She stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." He chuckled. "We still have a long way to go. But I'm willing to give this a chance."

* * *

Donna knocked on her boss' door, coming in when she heard him say it was alright.

"Donna! What can I help you with? Is everything alright?" Ted asked.

"Of course." She nodded. "I have an update for you on my project. I figured since it is such a high priority, you would want to know that I have Senator Tripplehorn willing to help us introduce the provisions as an amendment."

"What?" Ted laughed. "You got the Minority Leader to go against the White House on this?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Seriously?"

"Yes." She nodded again.

"Donna, that is amazing and such great news!" Ted smiled. "How is it you were able to do in one day what everyone else couldn't do in weeks?"

"I don't know, sir." She answered honestly. "Maybe I just got lucky."

"No, that isn't it." Ted argued. "Well now I am 100% certain I picked the right person for this project. Wonderful job Donna. Keep up the good work."

"I'll try sir." She said before leaving his office. This was just the first step in a long process but it was a first step in the right direction.


	6. Chapter 6

Happy Thoughts

Part 6

"Hey Josh, can I get you to look at this for a moment?" Sam asked, walking into the office.

He had his coat in his hand and looked at the time. It was already 8:30 and he just wanted to go home. He sighed and took the paper from Sam. "What am I looking at?"

"Remarks for the President about the environment for the campaign. One of my staffers wrote it and I'm just worried it's a little too…"

"Incendiary?" Josh finished. "Yeah. It is. The President can't say this."

"I was worried about that." Sam sighed. "Everything they write is like this."

"Maybe it's time to fire them." Josh chuckled.

"Maybe." Sam agreed. "Hey, you want to grab dinner?"

"I can't." He shook his head. "I'm going home to have dinner with Donna."

"She could come with us."

"She is cooking and I don't want to miss it." He explained.

"How very domestic of you two." Sam smiled. "Ok, well enjoy. I can't remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal."

"You just need to get yourself a girlfriend like Donna." Josh chuckled.

"I can't even get my staffers to follow my orders, it's an election year and let's be honest that there aren't many women out there like Donna. But yeah, I'll get right on that." Sam laughed. "Have a good night."

"I intend to." He said before leaving.

* * *

Josh approached Donna's door and went in without knocking. He saw Donna with her back to him, bending to get something out of the oven and stood there watching for a moment.

"Please stop staring." She laughed as she closed the oven door. She put the tray on top of the oven and turned to face him.

"Never." He grinned.

"Dinner should be done in a moment." She explained, coming over to give him a kiss. "How was the rest of your day? Did Dakota find those polling files you were looking for?"

"Yeah, she did." He answered, going over and grabbing a beer from the fridge. "They were right where you said they would be."

"Imagine that." She smiled.

"What's for dinner?" He couldn't help but be curious. So far, all he knew was there were rolls.

"Nothing fancy. Just some baked chicken, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and rolls." She replied.

"That's like a feast, Donna." He laughed. "You didn't have to go to all that trouble."

"It didn't take that long." She shrugged.

"Want some help?" He offered, feeling bad about her cooking so much. She ended up cooking for him about three times a week. She said it was alright—she had more free time in the evenings than he did. But still, he felt guilty for some reason. Maybe because the last time she cooked for him was when he was recovering from his gunshot wound.

"If you want you could start putting the food on the table."

"Consider it done." He took the rolls first, grabbing one and taking a huge bite out of it before plopping it onto his plate. Then he went back in for the mashed potatoes. "So how was your day?"

"Fine." She answered, focusing on the chicken instead of looking at him.

"Did you do anything interesting?" He wanted to see if she would tell him why she was in the Minority Leaders' office. He took the broccoli to the table and watched her.

"Um, not particularly."

She still wasn't looking at him or volunteering any information, instead she moved the chicken to the table before sitting down.

"So why were you at Tripplehorn's office today?" He realized a direct question would be harder for her to evade.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" She questioned. "We're getting ready to eat."

"We can talk while we eat." He pointed out, sitting down.

She started to pile food on her plate and he did the same thing. Once her plate was full she looked over at him.

"I went there to ask him a question." She explained. "And I think we both know what the question was."

"Ah, so they finally put you on the team." He guessed as much when they were on the phone earlier today. "I was wondering when that shoe would drop."

"They actually made me leader of the team." She corrected.

"Really?" He was surprised by that.

"Yeah." She nodded, beginning to eat her dinner.

"Why you?" The question came out before he could filter it or soften it so it came out harsher than he intended. He could tell by the look on Donna's face that she wasn't happy. "I mean…"

"I know exactly what you mean, Josh." She interrupted, staring at her plate while she continued eating.

He stayed quiet for a few moments. It seemed weird to him that they would make her the leader of the project since she had never headed up anything like this before, but he shouldn't have said anything because it was obviously a sore subject for her. "I only asked because I thought they already had a leader for the project."

"My boss decided to replace him since he wasn't making any progress." Donna replied, finally looking over at him. "But that might not have been entirely his fault since someone has been going around warning Congress not to listen to us."

"Gee, I wonder who that could be." He chuckled softly.

"Yeah, I wonder." She rolled her eyes.

"Donna, you have to know that it's my job to stop your group."

"I know that." She nodded. "I was only mad for a moment because I understand that you have a job to do. But you have to understand that I also have a job to do."

"Oh believe me, I am fully aware of that." He scoffed.

"I know you don't like my job. Can we just have a nice dinner together instead of talking about work and politics?" She asked.

"I'm simply taking an interest in your day."

"You're trying to get information about my project." She corrected him.

"And you aren't going to tell me anything?" He guessed.

"Nope." She shook her head.

"Alright." He decided to give up. The last thing he wanted to do was fight about this with her. Her meeting with Tripplehorn concerned him though. The Minority Leader wasn't happy with him or the President right now, and he wouldn't put it past the man to try and stick it to the administration by working with Donna on the amendment. This was something he would have to go to Leo about tomorrow.

But for tonight, he wanted to spend some time with his girlfriend.

It still felt weird calling Donna that after she had been his assistant for so long. It was a nice change, but still a change he was getting used to. He had never moved this quickly in a relationship with anyone. They started leaving clothes and stuff at each other's places almost immediately. They only spent a night apart if work dictated it. Hell, he even had a key to her place.

Things with Donna were good though. They worked as a couple and he tried not to think that they were moving too fast. He tried to remind himself that although they have been a couple for weeks, they have known each other for years. It still didn't do anything to keep him from periodically panicking about the fact that he was in love with her.

He couldn't pinpoint when it happened, when he realized that he was in love with her. It wasn't a sudden thing. In fact, he was fairly certain it just snuck up on him. Maybe it had always been there but he wasn't ready to acknowledge it. Either way, he was hopelessly in love with her and unsure what to do about it.

His relationships usually crashed and burned, with it normally being his fault. There was a song from the 70's called "Unlucky in Love" that he always figured was written about him. He didn't want this relationship with Donna to end badly. Honestly he didn't want it to end at all, but he was worried it would.

He pushed those thoughts out of his mind and focused on something else. "You know, my mother called me today."

He saw Donna's face soften and her eyes lit up at the prospect of a different conversation topic.

"How is she doing?"

"She's good." He nodded, taking a drink of his beer. "She's seeing this new guy, Mark."

"I take it you don't like Mark?" She chuckled.

"I don't know Mark." He shrugged.

"But judging by the way you said his name, you don't like him."

"No." He grinned. She knew him too well. "I don't."

"Your mother is a grown woman and she won't let herself be pushed around." Donna pointed out. "She will be fine."

"I know." He nodded. "She asked about you."

"Really? That's nice."

"Yeah." He paused for a moment. "She wondered why there was a different person answering my phones."

"You didn't tell her I quit?" Donna laughed.

"No." He answered.

"Why not?"

"It never came up."

"It's been several weeks." Donna pointed out. "How did it never come up?"

"This was the first time she called the office." He explained.

"So if you didn't tell her I quit, you probably didn't tell her we are dating either."

He could hear the hint of hurt feelings in her tone and frowned. "I hadn't gotten around to that either."

He watched as she continued to eat her dinner and felt bad. "I did tell her about it today. I told her everything about how you quit and we are dating and how we are super happy."

"Good." She replied, still not looking at him.

"We are super happy, right?" He chuckled nervously. That caused her to look over and glare at him.

"What about this face screams super happy to you?" She asked. "While I realize you don't have one of those overly-close relationships with your mother…"

"Which you should be glad about because you don't want to be with a mama's boy…" He interjected.

"I kind of figured that this was the type of news you would want to share with her." She finished her statement.

"Can I explain why I didn't tell her before today?"

"You can do whatever you want." She said, getting up with her now empty plate.

He followed her into the kitchen, trapping her up against the sink and gently turning her to face him. "I didn't tell her before because I didn't want to hear a lecture from her."

She looked at him like he had grown a second head. "A lecture? Honestly?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but you are considered a rockstar to my mother. She absolutely adores you. When I mentioned that you quit she screamed into the phone for a solid ten minutes that I needed to do whatever I could to get you to come back. I had to wait until she took a pause to breathe before I could tell her we were dating, which calmed her down until she realized she needed to give me another ten minute lecture about how I am under no circumstances allowed to break your heart."

"Well I guess that is a pretty good reason to put it off." She admitted.

"Why did you think I put it off?"

"It's stupid." She chuckled.

"No it isn't." He assured her. "Tell me."

"It just seemed like maybe you weren't telling her because you didn't want her knowing you were dating me. Like I said, it was stupid."

"Hey, I just didn't want to get lectured." He explained. "It had absolutely nothing to do with you. It was purely self-preservation."

"Ok." She nodded. "What's going on with us tonight?"

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"We're not having a very good night." She explained.

"It's just an off night for us." He leaned in to give her a kiss. "Nothing more than that."

"Well I don't like it."

"Neither do I." He sighed. "So let's change it."

"How?" She asked.

"We can start with a little bit of this." He grinned before kissing her.

* * *

"Hey Margaret." He greeted as he approached Leo's office. "Does he have a minute?"

"Yes. He has exactly three minutes." Margaret nodded. "You can go on in."

He walked to the opened door and knocked on the door frame.

"Come in Josh." Leo greeted before going back to looking at some papers.

"So the Children's Literacy Group is spearheading their campaign with a new leader." He started. "Wanna guess who they chose?"

"Donna?" Leo sighed.

"The one and the same." He sighed too.

"Well we knew this was going to happen eventually." Leo postured. "You've gone to everyone though, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "It took a couple of weeks but I've talked to every member of Congress and told them in no uncertain terms that they are not to engage with them on this issue."

"So then what is the problem?" Leo asked, looking up from the papers.

"Donna had a meeting with Tripplehorn yesterday."

"And you are worried that he might…"

"I'm certain he is." Josh interrupted. "I didn't get confirmation from her but I know Tripplehorn's anger with us…"

"With you specifically." Leo pointed out.

"Yeah." He nodded. "And I think he's going to do this to hurt us."

"Well go talk to him." Leo instructed.

"And say what?" He laughed.

"Find something he wants and offer it to him. Do whatever you have to and get him to change his mind. I'm sure I don't have to remind you what will happen if we have to go up against Donna about this."

"No." He shook his head. "You don't have to remind me." If they had to fight against Donna it was going to get ugly and that was the last thing he wanted. "I'll do what I can."

* * *

"Is the Minority Leader in?" Josh asked the secretary.

"He is, but he is in a meeting." She answered.

"I can wait." He walked over to an empty chair and sat down. He was only sitting down for a few moments before the door to the office opened and Donna came out with Tripplehorn.

"Thank you." Donna told the man before turning and seeing Josh. The smile that had been on her face fell as she looked back to the Senator.

"Joshua." Tripplehorn greeted. "I can't say I'm surprised to see you."

"Am I becoming that predictable?" Josh joked, standing up and walking over to the two. He knew now for sure that Tripplehorn was helping Donna. There was no other reason for two meetings within two days' time.

"Donna, I'll be in touch."

"Thank you Senator." She smiled at the man before looking at Josh. "Always nice to see you."

"You too." He said as she walked away. He looked at the Minority Leader. "Do you have a moment to spare for me?"

"Of course." Tripplehorn stepped aside to let him in. "What can I do for you today?"

"You can stop helping Donna and the Children's Literacy Group with their amendment project. Involving yourself in this is only going to hurt you." He saw no reason to sugarcoat it.

Tripplehorn smirked. "And just how is it going to hurt me?"

"The White House is not going to let the group pass an amendment. It will get shot down and everyone involved is going to lose." Josh explained.

"Even your former assistant?"

"Even her." He replied, not liking the direction this conversation was going. He needed to course correct and quickly. "You have a couple of failing bridges in your state, isn't that right?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"And your state government has been hesitant to put up the money to fix them."

"Let me guess." Tripplehorn scoffed as he sat back in his chair. "You want to trade money for the bridges in exchange for me not helping Donna."

"In exchange for you not helping the Children's Literacy Group." He corrected the Congressman.

Tripplehorn was quiet for a moment. He thought maybe the man was going to take him up on his offer.

"No." The Congressman shook his head. "I'm going forward with this project."

"Senator…"

"You and the White House can do whatever you need to do. I'll do what I need to do. And we'll see who ends up victorious in the end."

"This is a mistake." Josh warned him.

"We'll see." The man smirked. "Now if you will excuse me, I have a meeting starting in a few minutes. Please see yourself out. Good day Josh."


	7. Chapter 7

Happy Thoughts

Chapter 7

One month later

"I can't believe it." Donna raved as she read the papers in front of her. "Not only did we get the amendment tacked on to a bill, but we have enough votes to get it passed."

"Believe it." Ted beamed. "You've done an amazing job of galvanizing the votes in Congress. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your hard work."

"Thanks." She was so relieved that things were going well with this project. And although things were awkward at times with Josh, nothing major had come up from this to derail their relationship.

There was a knock on the door. Her boss' secretary stuck her head in.

"Sir, Senator Tripplehorn is here to see you."

"Send him in." Ted nodded.

A moment later, Tripplehorn entered the room. She smiled until she saw the look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"The Veteran's Affairs bill has been sent back to committee." He answered.

"Why?" She asked.

"That's something you would have to ask Josh." He explained. "It seems one of the more loyal members to the Bartlett administration has sent the bill back to committee. They are planning on holding it there indefinitely."

She thought about it for a moment and it made sense. Josh was having them send the bill back to committee so it couldn't be voted on, and in the meantime was going to work on swaying people away from the amendment.

"How worried should we be?" Ted asked.

"It's definitely a setback." Tripplehorn answered.

It wasn't just a setback though. It was a huge roadblock. The longer the bill stayed in committee, the more likely they were to lose their votes for the amendment. She wasn't sure how to combat this yet.

"Donna?" Her boss' voice brought her out of her own mind.

"Yeah?" She answered.

"I asked what you were going to do." Ted repeated.

There was only one thing she could do. She had to go see Josh. "I am going to go take care of this."

Without giving anyone else a chance to say anything, she bolted from the room.

* * *

It was easy for her to get into the White House since she was still on the list of approved visitors. All she had to do was say who she was there to see and they let her in. So it didn't take long for her to get in. Her first stop was Josh's office. Unfortunately it was empty. So she sighed and sat in his chair to wait for him.

It took about ten minutes before he came flying into the room, immediately stopping when he saw her there.

"Well this is a nice surprise!" He grinned. "What brings you here in the middle of the day?"

He came closer so she got up from the chair and walked to the other side of the room. "Why are you keeping the Veteran's Affairs bill in committee?"

His face fell. He must have realized that this wasn't a social call. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Who says I am?" He went over to his desk and put the folder he had been holding down.

"I know you, Josh. I know this is one of your tactics." She explained. "You know that we have the votes to make the bill go through with the amendment so you are keeping it in committee until public pressure mounts to the point that the amendment gets dropped."

"The White House doesn't and can't have any power to keep a bill in committee." He reasoned. "You know that."

"I know the truth. You're using Stackhouse to keep it in committee, aren't you?" She questioned. She thought about it a lot on the trip over and concluded that Stackhouse was the likely choice. It was the play she would have done in Josh's situation.

"I'm not confirming or denying anything." He shrugged.

"C'mon Josh, it's over." She scoffed. "We have the votes. Just let us have the win. It doesn't have to get ugly."

"I've told you since the beginning that the White House isn't going to treat you any differently just because of who you are. This is something we don't want passed. I've warned you not to go after it. I've warned you it could get ugly and you kept saying it would be fine. Well things don't seem fine right now."

"Because you're being a child!" She yelled. "We got the votes. You lost fair and square but instead of taking it like a man and moving on you are changing the rules at the eleventh hour."

"You haven't won." He pointed out. "You don't win until the bill gets passed with the amendment and it isn't going to happen."

"Yeah because you're making sure of that." She scoffed again. "You know that this isn't right or fair. You know that, right?"

"Donna, this isn't personal."

"Right." She nodded. "Well this isn't over. You said things would get ugly and now you have ensured that will happen."

She turned to leave, only stopping when she felt him grab her arm.

"Donna, come on. It's just a job. Why can't you let it go?"

"Because it's my job and I take pride in my job." She told him calmly. "I know you don't understand that though."

"It shouldn't be your job." He said quietly.

She wanted to pretend she didn't hear that. She wanted to pretend that it didn't anger her. She wanted to pretend that she could rise above his little remark and not take the bait. But she couldn't. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It shouldn't be your job." He said a little louder. "You shouldn't be working for these people. You should be back at the White House."

"You mean I should still be your assistant." She corrected him. "Just admit it, you don't see me as anything other than an assistant. You don't think I'm capable of anything else. That's why you won't just let the bill go through. Because then you would have to admit that maybe, just maybe, I am capable of more."

"That's not fair to say." He complained.

"But it's the truth and I don't hear you denying it." She shook her head. For whatever reason, it seemed like he was incapable of taking her seriously, always just seeing her as his assistant and nothing more. Everything she had done to get this amendment going, to get the votes…it didn't matter to him. It didn't change his mind about her abilities. While it made her angry, she was more saddened by it than anything else. "This fight isn't over. I'm going to get that bill out of committee one way or another."

"It's not going to happen." He sighed.

"We'll see about that." She said before leaving.

* * *

When she got back to the office, she headed to her boss' office. It surprised her that the Minority Leader was still there. "Hello." She greeted as she entered the room.

"Oh good, you're back." Ted smiled.

"Yeah. I went to go see if Josh would release the bill from committee but that's not going to happen. He wants to keep it there until we lose enough votes and the amendment fails."

"We've actually been thinking about this and we have something that we think will work to get them to release the bill." Ted explained.

"Ok." She was hopeful since she hadn't come up with a plan yet. "What is it?"

"You make this statement to a reporter." Tripplehorn passed a sheet to her.

She read it quickly and then read it again slower, trying to make sure that she wasn't missing something. This statement…she didn't know if she could do it. Her boss seemed to sense her hesitance.

"Is something wrong with the statement?" Ted asked.

"It's just…this is rather harsh." She settled on those words to describe it.

"We feel we have to be harsh in this situation. The administration is withholding a vital bill giving 1.2 billion in extra benefits to veterans from being voted on simply because there is an amendment worth 16 million attached. It's disgusting that they are playing this kind of politics."

"I agree that they shouldn't be holding the bill in committee." She conceded. "But this…this is going to incite a war."

"The war has already been started." Tripplehorn informed her. "It's just a matter of what are we willing to do to win the war."

She wasn't sure she was willing to go this far. "Can't we change some of the tone of this statement? It's going to cause a lot of trouble."

"This is the course we feel we should take." Ted told her. "You don't have to participate, but if you don't then we will have to reconsider your employment here."

She somehow knew that was going to come up. A part of her wanted to say forget it and walk out the door. But she had worked her butt off the last month getting this put together. She didn't want to see Josh dismantle everything she worked so hard to build. She wanted to prove to herself, as well as Josh, that she could do this.

Still, she knew that this statement was going to cause a lot of trouble for her relationship with Josh. He was going to be furious.

"We can have a member of the press here in less than an hour to do an interview." Ted told her.

He must have sensed her internal conflict because he pulled her off to the side of the room.

"Look, I know you are involved with Josh. I realize this puts you in an awkward position. But this is politics. It isn't personal." Ted explained quietly.

"That's what Josh tried to tell me today too." She acknowledged.

"You tried to go to him and work something out. He refused. If this was any other person and any other situation, what would you do?" Ted asked.

She thought about it. Attacking the other side with the truth, especially when the truth was ugly, would be the course of action she would take. But this was…these were her friends and Josh. She didn't want to hurt them. And this statement would cause a lot of problems for them and the President.

"I'll do it." She finally relented.

"Thank you." Ted smiled.

"But I get to pick the reporter." She demanded.

* * *

Within an hour, Danny was entering her office. She felt more comfortable with giving the statement to him since he was a familiar face. She took a deep breath and steadied herself. Although her boss wanted her to go with the original statement, she couldn't do it. She had to alter it and had been working on a way to alter it so that there wasn't as much fall-out on the president. She couldn't say the same about possible fall-out for Josh though.

"Nice to see you again, Donna." Danny greeted.

"You too." She smiled, motioning for him to sit.

"So I hear you want to talk about the Veterans Affairs bill."

"Yes." She nodded. "I'm not sure if you are aware, but the bill is being held back in committee unnecessarily."

"Really? Why?"

She could see she had his attention now and continued. "I've been working with members of Congress to get an amendment attached to the bill. The amendment contains the portions of the President's education bill that got cut out before it went to a vote. There are enough votes to get the amendment added, as well as enough votes to pass the Veteran's Affairs bill in both houses of Congress."

"So if the votes are there, then why isn't it being sent to the floor?" Danny asked.

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" She sighed. "The White House is using a senator to keep the bill off the floor with the hopes that the amendment will lose support. It is egregious that they are trying to stop a bill that would inject 1.2 billion dollars into veteran benefits just to cut down a 16 million dollar amendment which would make such a huge difference to America's children."

"Why would the White House do that?" Danny asked. "Besides, they aren't supposed to interfere with the business of Congress like that. How far up do you think this goes?"

"To be clear, I don't think the president is in on this. I think this action is coming from one person who is clearly overestimating their power and reach by playing God with Congress." She wanted to make sure that the president wasn't implicated in this, even though the original statement made it sound like the president was the mastermind.

"Do you have a name?" Danny asked.

"Joshua Lyman." She stated.

"Tell me more." Danny smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Happy Thoughts

Part 8

"Josh, you are going to want to see this." CJ said, coming into his office without any preamble.

He looked at her and grabbed the paper she was holding. "What is it?"

"Danny gave it to me after the press briefing. It's an article he is writing about the Veteran's Affairs bill."

"Ok." He didn't see the big deal of why he needed to look at it. "So what?"

"Take a look about halfway down." CJ instructed.

When he got halfway down he realized why CJ was in his office. He finished the article and then re-read it to make sure he wasn't having some kind of stroke. "Is she serious? She can't actually be serious. She wouldn't do something like this."

He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince CJ or himself.

"Danny said he met with her in her office about two hours ago." CJ explained. "He wants to know if we have a response before he publishes it."

Two hours ago was after she had come and asked him to release the bill from committee, after he had told her no and after she said she would get the bill out of committee one way or another. This was certainly one way to do it.

He picked up the phone and dialed her office number, motioning for CJ to stay where she was.

"Andrea, it's Josh. Can you put me through to Donna?...What do you mean she is out for the rest of the day?...Fine. Thanks." He put the phone down and dialed her cell phone number.

"Hello?" Donna answered.

"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled into the phone.

"I'm having a very late lunch." She answered calmly. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out why you would talk to Danny and tell him that I am standing in the way of the Veteran's Affairs bill."

"I did it because you are standing in the way."

"This is a pretty dirty thing for you to do." He warned.

"You mean, kind of like when you had Stackhouse shelve the bill in the first place?" She questioned. "Or when you preemptively went to every member of Congress and tried to scare them into not even talking to us?"

"That's different."

"Of course it is." She said softly. "It's different because you did it. Look, I had to do this. And I toned down the language my boss wanted me to use. You should have heard what he really wanted me to say. He wanted me to bring up the President's MS."

"So I should be grateful to you that it wasn't worse?" He scoffed. "Are you expecting me to thank you?"

"Josh, just release the bill from committee and Danny won't publish the piece."

"I'm not going to bow down to blackmail."

"It's not blackmail so much as a piece of helpful advice." She sighed. "I didn't want to make a statement in the first place but I was forced into it. I know it seems like it was harsh but believe me it could have been much worse if I didn't temper it down. Please work with me on this. I'm trying my best here."

"All you are trying to do is destroy our relationship and my career!" He said, slamming the phone down.

He was so furious with her right now. She had no right to say those things to Danny. He wasn't acting like God and he wasn't over-reaching his power. Without a moments' hesitation, he grabbed a blank piece of paper and started scribbling. Then he handed it to CJ. "Here is the White Houses' response. Give it to Danny and let him print it word for word."

He watched as CJ read it and then shook her head.

"No way." She refused. "I'm not saying this and neither should you."

"Why not?" He asked, getting really annoyed now.

"Josh, I realize you are angry and I realize that things in that article are frustrating. But the response you are giving this isn't measured. Donna's remarks are a nuisance-something that can be explained away with a simple reminder that the White House doesn't engage in playing game with bill in or out of committee. It's out of the news in one cycle. What you are proposing as a response is a complete decimation of her character."

"She started it." He sighed.

"Are you five now?" CJ scoffed. "Besides, this is Donna we are talking about, not some lobbyist or politician we don't care about. Donna is family. You don't treat family like this."

"You should be giving her that lecture too." He shot back.

"Maybe I will but you are the one standing in front of me holding a grenade that will destroy your relationship with her so right now you are the priority."

He stayed silent. CJ was right. This statement could destroy his relationship with Donna.

"Let's take it to Leo." She suggested. "See what he thinks."

"Fine." He sighed, following her to Leo's office. Fortunately he wasn't in a meeting so they were able to go right in.

"What's going on?" Leo asked.

"Donna has been talking to Danny." CJ said, handing him the article. "Danny wanted a comment before he went to print tomorrow morning."

"Wow." Leo chuckled as he read. "I wouldn't have thought that Donna had it in her to do something like this. I guess she did learn from Josh after all. I'm actually kind of impressed that the kid could pull this off."

"This is what Josh came up with as a response." CJ handed Leo the second paper. "I think that we can mitigate this with a much softer statement. Please tell me that you are going to talk some sense into him about this because I don't think…"

"You have to do it." Leo interrupted.

"What?" CJ asked.

He looked over and saw that his friend was shocked. He wasn't though. He knew Leo would side with him. They had to fight hard against this. It was an election year and they had to appear strong. They couldn't let scandals like this dominate news cycles. They had to shut it down…shut Donna down. He didn't like it but it was the way things had to be.

"He has to fight fire with fire on this." Leo explained. "Make the statement and then have Stackhouse release the bill to the floor. It will undermine her credibility in the article if the bill is on its' way to be voted on."

"You guys can't be serious." CJ scoffed. "You are going to ruin her."

"She will be fine." Leo assured. "Trust me."

He looked between CJ and Leo while they talked. While at first he thought the statement was a good idea, he was beginning to have second thoughts. Taking the bill out of committee would allow her to get the bill passed, but the article would destroy her credibility. He knew she wouldn't be happy about it.

"Anything else?" Leo asked.

"No." CJ sighed. "But I want to go on record here saying that I think this is a bad idea and I'm not happy about it."

"Fair enough." Leo nodded.

He waited until CJ left before looking back at Leo.

"Something else you want to say?"

"Isn't the statement harsh?" He asked. "Couldn't we have toned it down? Even a little?"

"I know it is hard for you because this is Donna we're talking about." Leo explained. "But she will be fine."

"Our relationship probably won't be." He sulked.

"You'll be ok." Leo counseled. "These things have a way of working themselves out."

"Yeah. Right, because we're Josh and Donna." He sighed, leaving the office.

* * *

He stood outside Donna's door that night, unsure if she would even let him in. The article wasn't coming out until tomorrow morning, which meant this could be the last chance he would have to be around Donna before she hated him. Honestly, she might already be mad because of the way he yelled at her earlier on the phone. He decided not to use his key, knocking instead.

She answered wearing shorts and a tank top, her hair up in a messy ponytail and a confused look on her face. "Hey."

"Hey." He greeted.

"I didn't think you were coming over tonight." She admitted. "I thought you were still mad at me."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." She looked at him strangely as he entered her place.

He turned to see her close the door.

"Is everything ok?" She asked. "You are acting weird."

"It's just been a long day." He shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She offered.

"Not really." He shook his head. "It's just a bunch of work stuff."

"Ok."

She let his excuse go, not questioning it further. It made him feel guilty.

"Are you hungry?" She offered. "I could make you something."

"No thanks." He shook his head.

"Are we…are we ok?" She asked hesitantly. "I know you were really mad at me earlier and to be honest you have every right to be angry. I just…I didn't really have a choice about saying…no, you know what? I'm going to own what I did. I did have a choice. I could have told my boss I quit instead of saying those things. But I didn't and I'm sorry. But Josh you have to realize why I have been working my butt off trying to make this happen. I…"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." He interrupted her, closing the gap between them and kissing her. It took a moment, probably because she was surprised, before she wrapped her arms around him and returned the kiss.

He felt her unbuttoning his shirt and started to lead her back to her bedroom. If this was their last night together, he would make it count.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up before her and watched her sleep. She looked peaceful. That would end once she got a hold of the newspaper and saw Danny's article. All hell would break loose then. He felt bad about last night and not warning her about it. He felt even worse about what he was going to do now. He slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her. His clothes were strewn across her bedroom and the hallway so he quietly gathered them up and started to get dressed.

After getting his clothes on he went back to the bedroom and saw that Donna was still asleep. He scribbled a quick note with a lie about having to go in early and stuck it on her bedside table. Then he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Donna." He whispered before leaving her apartment.

He was a coward. That much was sure. He couldn't even stay until she saw the article. He had to leave before. And he couldn't tell her that he loved her while she was awake. He had to do it while she was asleep.

Now the only thing left to do was go into the office and wait for the fallout.


	9. Chapter 9

Happy Thoughts

Part Nine

Donna was feeling pretty good as she walked into her office that morning. She thought for sure that Josh would still be furious with her last night so she didn't plan on him coming over. But then he surprised her by coming over and not being mad.

There was something wrong last night, but at least he wasn't angry with her anymore. She wondered what was going on with him, but attributed it to something else having to do with work since he had to leave before she got up today.

Maybe there was actually hope for them to get through this mess still intact. Maybe she would call him later and see how he was doing.

She saw her boss waiting for her by the window when she entered the office. "Good morning."

Her smile faded when Ted turned around and had a scowl on his face. "What's going on?"

"Have you read the paper this morning?" Ted asked.

"No, not yet." She shook her head. "Why?"

He handed her the paper from his hand. "Your article came out."

She knew that Ted would be upset about her comments not being the same ones they had agreed she would issue. But she figured it would be alright because she was going to get the bill passed back to the floor. There was no way that Josh and the White House let this article come out without pushing the bill back out onto the floor.

"They pushed the bill back out of committee." Ted told her.

"Well that's good." She chuckled.

"You might want to sit down before reading it." Ted warned.

She didn't understand his advice and started reading it from where she stood. It seemed fine. Danny had printed her statements just like she knew he would. Then came the White Houses' statement. Her heart fell as she read the statement. She recognized the writing style as Josh's and knew that he was the one who crafted the words that were piercing her right now.

He knew exactly how to hurt her to get the most damage and every word felt like a knife stabbing her. She walked to the nearby couch and sat down as she re-read it. She was vaguely aware that Ted was still in the room so she knew she couldn't cry right now. But she wanted to.

She finally looked up at Ted, who looked mad.

"When I hired you, I wanted someone who could not only work on this project but other projects in this town. But after this article, I can see that you aren't who I thought you would be."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "But you read the article. The bill is being placed on the floor. It's going to get passed."

"But you are done in this town." Ted informed her. "No one is going to take you seriously anymore. I'm sorry but you're fired."

"That's not fair." She objected. "I gave everything I had for this job. I got you want you wanted."

"And thank you for that." He sighed. "But the truth is that you aren't useful to me or this group anymore."

She watched him leave the room and released a heavy sigh. She didn't know what to do except to pack up her office and go home.

A part of her wanted to go to the White House and yell at Josh until she lost her voice. But what good would that do? She thought back to last night. She was an idiot, a naïve idiot to believe that he wasn't mad anymore when he showed up at her door. He probably had a good laugh this morning about being able to trick her.

* * *

She took a long swig of beer before going back to what she was doing. She held open the trash bag before throwing more of Josh's things inside. She had been going room to room trying to gather everything up that belonged to him. She had also been thinking all day about what to do.

This whole thing had gotten so far out of hand that it wasn't funny. All she had wanted to do was make a career for herself and have a good reputation in D.C. Now she was out of a job with no prospects for a different job.

She was furious with him. And it wasn't the fact that he used dirty tactics to try and win. She had long ago come to peace with the fact that they would be going up against each other. That she could live with. It was the fact that he didn't even have the curtesy to warn her last night. He tricked her into thinking things were good between then. While he was kissing her, he knew that she was going to read the article this morning. He had to have known what the article would do to her. Then he didn't call or try to contact her today. He knew that she would read the article this morning. But she heard nothing from him.

Maybe he thought she was going to be the first one to make contact. He was mistaken. She had spent most of the day laying on her bed with a pillow covering her head. She had never been fired from a job before and didn't like the feeling. Once she was done with her pity party, she opened up a beer and started gathering Josh's things.

She was finally done ridding her place of Josh when there was a knock on the door. She went over and opened it, finding Josh on the other side. He looked contrite and she glared at him.

"I know you are mad…"

"You don't know anything." She scoffed, interrupting him. "How could you?"

"Can I explain?" He asked.

She let him in and pointed to the trash bag. "When you leave you can take this with you."

"What's that?" He pointed to the bag.

"It's all of the stuff that you left here." When she said that, she saw on his face that he was realizing that she was breaking up with him. She hated seeing the look of hurt on his face, but she didn't see any other recourse.

"Donna…"

"You wanted to explain." She interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest. "So explain. Explain to me why you thought it was a good idea to humiliate me in the article. Explain to me why you thought getting me fired would be endearing. Explain to me why you thought that tricking me last night into thinking things between us were fine was a good idea instead of just a cruel joke. Explain to me why nothing I do professionally is ever good enough for you. Explain to me why it was so necessary to obliterate me both professionally and personally."

"You got fired?" He asked.

"That's the take-away you get from what I said?" She scoffed. "Yes Josh, I got fired. Your article has made it so that I don't have any political clout anymore. Everything I've done since I left the White House has been in vain now."

"I'm sorry."

"About which part?" She questioned. "Are you sorry you got me fired? Because I doubt that. You never wanted me to take the job. You're probably thrilled that I got fired."

"That's not true."

"Don't lie to me." She rolled her eyes. "Don't insult me like that."

"I'm not trying to." He assured her. "I am truly sorry you got fired. I know you wanted that job."

"But you just had to write that statement, didn't you?" She scoffed.

"You were the one who started it with the article." He pointed out.

"The article wouldn't have hurt anything in your life except your ego." She corrected him. "But you were bloodthirsty and went for my jugular." She grabbed a copy of the paper and started to quote. "Miss Moss is unfortunately misinformed about the power the White House and its' staff has on Congress concerning how or when they send a bill to the floor. Maybe she was absent on the day it was taught in high school, or maybe they just didn't teach that in the small town she was raised in. But you would have thought that she would have also learned that lesson during her many years working at the White House as an assistant. In fact, she worked for Joshua Lyman, the same man she claims is playing God with Congress. Maybe she should have stuck with being an assistant so that she could learn the basics of how the U.S. government works."

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"You know I only had a couple of goals with this job and I didn't think that I was asking for too much." She scoffed. "I wanted to succeed and I wanted to be able to say that I was worth something more than being an assistant. And I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted you to look at me and see me for something more than just the woman who has been by your side doing every crappy, humiliating job you threw at her for so many years. But this whole time, ever since I quit the White House, you've acted like you're surprised I can string two sentences together coherently yet alone do anything spectacular."

She shook her head. "You always seemed surprised by things like me being put in charge of the project, or even getting a different job in the first place. I don't know why you can't see me for who I really am, but all you seem to see is 'Donna, the pathetic assistant that you have to somehow always save'. And that's not who I am."

"I know that." He objected. "Come on, of course I know that!"

"No you don't." She shook her head. "If you did, you wouldn't have made that statement. You couldn't have made that statement. But you shot me down and you've been doing it pretty much the entire time we've known each other. I can't be with someone who doesn't see who I really am."

"Donna, c'mon. Don't do this. We can move past this."

"I don't think we can. I don't see how when you don't see me as an equal." She shook her head and walked over to her keys. A key to his place had been on her keychain for years now, but it didn't seem right to keep it there anymore. She carefully removed it and walked back over to him, holding the key out.

"I love you." He pleaded. "Please don't do this. I don't want to break up."

She looked at his face and saw that he was being sincere. She didn't doubt that he loved her. She needed more than his love though. "I love you too. I've loved you for a long time and I'll always continue to love you. And for what it's worth I believe you when you say you love me. But I can't be with someone who doesn't respect me or see me as an equal and you definitely don't."

"Donna…"

"You know I've been your number one fan and your biggest critic all of these years. I've done everything I can think of to elevate you and make sure that you are the best you could be. But this whole time, you've never once acted like you were excited or happy about what I was achieving. I know we had opposing goals, but did you ever stop to think about what I was accomplishing? The first time I tried, I was able to whip enough votes and I did it by all by myself. I'm immensely proud of that but you don't seem to care."

"I do care." He assured her. "Donna, tell me what I can do to prove it. Please."

"I'm sorry but there isn't anything to do." She apologized. "Please don't make this harder than it already is."

He sighed and took a few steps towards her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

She looked at him and thought about changing her mind. She thought about wrapping her arms around him and never letting go. But as much as she loved him, she needed to be treated as an equal and he wasn't able to do that right now.

He didn't say anything else before grabbing the bag of his stuff and leaving.

She closed the door and leaned up against it, willing herself not to cry. Ending things with him was harder than she thought it would be, but it needed to be done. She had to focus on herself right now.

Her phone started to ring and she debated just ignoring it but ultimately decided to answer it. "Hello?"

"Donna? It's Abbey Bartlett. Can you come to the residence tonight? I'd like to talk to you."

She was confused about why the First Lady would be calling her. All she really wanted to do was put on pajamas, crawl into bed and cry. But that would apparently have to wait.

"Um, sure."

"Great. So I'll see you in about an hour?"

"Sure." She agreed. "I'll be there in an hour."

* * *

She stood in the living area of the residence, waiting on the First Lady and wondering for the millionth time why she was here. It didn't make sense. If the White House was angry about her remarks in Danny's story, they wouldn't have sent the First Lady to chastise her. She would have been called straight into Leo's office.

"I hope you haven't been waiting long." Abbey greeted her with a warm smile.

"No." She shook her head. "I've only been here a couple of minutes."

"Please, sit." The First lady motioned for her to sit on the couch. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"No thank you." She refused politely, sitting on the couch and facing the woman.

"You're probably wondering why I called you here." Abbey chuckled.

"Yeah." She nodded. "That thought did cross my mind."

"Well I won't keep you in suspense. I brought you here because I've been watching you for quite some time. I've been interested in how your career has progressed."

"To be honest, I've only had a real career for a couple of months."

"That's not true." Abbey corrected her. "Even when you were Josh's assistant, you were more than that. Let's be honest. You were the one who kept his office running when he was recovering from Rosslyn. You were the behind the scenes player. You're very impressive, Donna."

She thought it was both funny and sad that the First Lady seemed to realize this but Josh didn't. "I don't know about that."

"I do." Abbey asserted. "Trust me, I've seen my fair share of idiots in politics and you are not an idiot. Look at what you did for the Children's Literacy Group. I don't want to use the word miracle but you definitely worked some magic."

"And got fired too." She laughed.

"Yes, I heard about that. I'm sorry. That must have been rough."

"It was. It is." She nodded.

"How would you like a new job?" Abbey questioned.

"Depends what job it is."

"I have an opening for a new Chief of Staff. What do you think?"

"I think you should ask someone with more experience." She was starting to think that this was some kind of prank. Why else would the First Lady be trying to offer her a job as her Chief of Staff? She couldn't be serious.

"I don't need someone with experience." Abbey replied. "I need someone I can trust, who will work hard and do everything they can to achieve my goals." I believe you are that person. You have watched Josh be deputy chief of staff for years. You have the abilities. You have the loyalty. You could use some more self-confidence but that will work itself out."

"I appreciate that you have such faith in me. I really do. But I'm not sure I can accept this job."

"What's this I'm hearing?" A voice asked from the doorway.

She looked over to see the President walking in and stood up.

"You don't want the job?" He asked.

"Mr. President, I am so sorry if any of my actions on the Veteran's Affairs bill brought trouble for you or your campaign…"

"Ah sit down Donna." He chuckled, going to stand next to his wife. "The whole thing isn't a big deal and I'm not worried about it. You shouldn't be either."

"But still…"

"It's fine. It's done and over with. " He assured her with a kind smile. "Now when my lovely wife here came to me last week and asked what I thought about making you her new chief of staff, I will admit I was surprised. Then I found out what you have been doing since you left us. You've certainly been busy."

"Yes I have." She agreed.

"You seemed to have learned a lot while you were here." He pointed out.

"Yes I did." Between the lessons Josh meant to teach her and the lessons she picked up along the way, she had learned a lot of skills while working at the White House.

Josh…that was another thing to consider. They just broke up tonight. Did she really want to take a job where she would see him on a regular basis?

Yes. The answer was always going to be yes. Even if they weren't together, she still wanted to be around him. Even though it would be awkward.

She shook those thoughts from her head. She was crazy to even consider this job.

"So what are the barriers to getting you to say yes to this job?" He asked.

She looked at the First Lady and then the President. It wasn't fair that they were double-teaming her on this issue.

Something popped into her mind and before she could stop herself, she heard her voicing her question. "Did anyone prompt you to offer this job to me?"

The two of them looked at each other and then at her. "What do you mean?" Abbey asked.

"Was this your idea or did someone plant the seed about it?" She clarified.

"No one suggested you." Abbey explained. "Why?"

"I thought maybe Josh had…never mind." She chuckled.

"Well Josh doesn't know anything about this." Abbey informed her.

She thought about it for a moment and realized she didn't have anything to lose at this point, but everything to gain. She looked at the First Lady and smiled. "Ok I'll do it."

"Wonderful! The president clapped his hands.

"I agree." Abbey smiled. "Can you start on Monday?"

"Absolutely." She replied with a small smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Happy Thoughts

Chapter 10

It was now Monday morning—four days since Donna broke up with him. He was officially miserable. He had stayed in the office for the majority of the weekend because being at his place was torture. Everything reminded him of Donna—every plate reminded him of meals she made and every seat reminded him of when they could sit together and watch TV. Sleeping in his bed just reminded him of the nights he spent there with Donna.

Then there was that damn trash bag.

The bag that Donna had filled with the stuff from her apartment was still sitting next to his door. He couldn't bring himself to move it from where he tossed it when he arrived back at his place, yet alone open it and take everything out. It seemed too final of an action. Maybe that was also why he hadn't taken the time to get her stuff together from his place. Her stuff was still in his bathroom, cluttering the counters. Her clothes were still in their drawers. She had even left a couple of books behind—books that he knew she wasn't done reading yet.

Yes, everywhere he looked at his place he saw ghosts of her.

The office wasn't much better. Although her personal belongings weren't strewn across his office like at home, he still had tons of memories that haunted him. After all, this was where they worked together for years and kissed for the first time.

He thought about calling her a million times. He even picked up the phone and started to dial a few times. But he always chickened out. She was pretty clear about breaking up. While he didn't like it and he didn't agree with her reasoning, he had to respect her choices.

He turned around in his chair to look out the window, thinking back to the conversation he had with his mother yesterday.

_When his cell rang, he debated whether or not to answer it. He was in his office on the couch, trying out Donna's visualization exercise. He thought that maybe if he tried to think of moments with her where he was happier, he might not be as miserable for a moment. _

_Unfortunately it wasn't working as well as he would have liked. So with a heavy sigh, he opened his eyes and answered the phone. _

"_It's Josh." He greeted. _

"_You sound terrible." _

_He couldn't help but chuckle. Of course his mother would recognize the anguish in his tone. "Hello mother." _

"_Is this a bad time?"_

"_No." He lied. "It's fine. What's up?" _

"_I just called to check on you." She told him. "Why do you sound so miserable?" _

"_I'm just tired." He hated to lie but the last thing he wanted was to receive a lecture for letting his relationship with Donna end. _

"_Did you let Donna slip away?" _

"_How did you…I mean…" He stumbled around for the right words. "Donna and I aren't together anymore." He realized that he couldn't keep it from her. _

"_I thought so. Your voice has that whiny, poor me tone that you get when you feel everything in your life is going wrong." _

"_Without Donna it kind of is." He pointed out. "And I don't get that kind of voice." It was then that he heard the whininess and groaned. She was right._

"_What happened with Donna?" His mother asked. _

_He had to admit that he was grateful she wasn't lecturing him right now. Her tone was more of a soft, inquisitive kind of thing that was devoid of judgement. He only hoped that it lasted after he told her everything. _

"_You know Donna and I have been on opposite sides of a work thing, right?" _

"_Yes." She replied. "Please tell me you didn't let work come between you." _

_He wasn't sure how to answer that and took an extra moment to think. "I don't think it was work that separated us—at least not that issue. She…well Donna feels like I don't take her seriously. She feels like I don't treat her like she is my equal. But that's crazy. I love her so it's crazy." His mother was silent. "Right?" _

"_Joshua…" His mother sighed. "I love you dearly and I'm not saying this to hurt you. In fact, it is the opposite. You have a lot of good qualities and I am very proud of the man you have become. But you do have a tendency to get tunnel-vision, especially when you are in the middle of something—like this re-election campaign. Let me ask you this. I know you weren't happy when Donna took the job and left the White House. Did you ever tell her congratulations or do anything special for her to celebrate? Like take her to dinner?" _

_He thought about it and realized he hadn't. Never once did he say good job or congratulations to her for getting a different job. In fact, all he did was give her grief about leaving him. With a heavy sigh he had to reply, "No." _

"_When you think about Donna, what are the first three words that come to your mind?" _

"_Smart, beautiful and funny." He rattled off the adjectives without a moment's hesitation. _

"_Son, I have heard you talk about Donna for years now and I have known about your feelings for her since the first time you mentioned her. It's always been clear to me that you are proud of her." _

"_Of course I am!" He exclaimed. "She has learned so much since she started working for me and I am proud of what she did at this other job." _

"_Did you ever say anything like that to her?" _

"_No." He shook his head. "I didn't." _

"_That could be partly why she doesn't think you respect her and why she thinks you marginalized her." _

_He was about to agree when he realized something. "Wait. I never said anything about marginalizing her." _

"_I know. Please don't be mad but I spoke to Donna earlier today. I was thinking about surprising you by coming up for a visit but I wanted to check with her to make sure you would be in town. After a lot of prompting she filled me in on everything." _

_He couldn't be mad at his mother. If anything he was jealous that she was able to talk to Donna and he couldn't. "I'm not mad." _

"_Good." She paused. "She's really hurt." _

"_I know." He whispered. He was starting to see where Donna was coming from. She was his biggest cheerleader and he always knew that she had faith in him. It was one of the things that allowed him the ability to have no fear and take no prisoners with this job. It also made him feel like he was walking on air. _

_But he didn't do the same thing to her. He made this amendment issue all about him, not taking into account that she needed someone to believe in her. She needed him to believe in her. He really let her down. No wonder she was so hurt. _

"_So what are you going to do about it?" His mother asked. _

"_I don't know yet." He admitted. "I'm not even sure there is anything I can do." _

"_She still cares about you." His mother pointed out. "I don't think your journey together is over." _

He shook himself from those thoughts and swirled his chair back around. He needed to get back to work.

"Have you heard the news?" Sam asked, coming into his office without any kind of knocking. That wouldn't have happened if Donna was still here. She would have made sure that people didn't disturb him.

"What news?" He sighed, looking up at his friend. "Can you be more specific?"

"The First Lady has fired her Chief of Staff and hired a new one." Sam explained.

"Ok. That's great because her last Chief of Staff was an idiot and I hated dealing with him." He shrugged. "So what?"

"You don't know." Sam chuckled. "I just assumed that you of all people would know…"

"Know what?" He asked, starting to get annoyed.

"Did you know that Donna is the First Lady's new Chief of Staff?" Toby asked as he appeared in the doorway.

"What?" That couldn't be right. "Toby, what are you talking about?"

"I was just getting ready to tell him." Sam said, turning to fact Toby. "He didn't know yet."

"Well it wouldn't have stayed a surprise for much longer." Toby asserted. "CJ is about to announce it in her morning press briefing."

"Can you both just back up?" He scoffed. "Donna got a job as Chief of Staff for Mrs. Bartlet?"

"Yes." Toby replied. "Today is her first day."

"Wow." He was impressed. "How did you find this out?"

Sam was the first one to speak up. "I ran into her when I came in this morning and she told me about it."

"Can we all agree that we don't need to haze her?" Toby asked. "I know that we normally haze new people on their first day, but she hasn't been gone long enough to be hazed. I think we can all agree to that, right?"

"Right." He said. The last thing he wanted to do was something that would make her even angrier with him.

"I've got something I need to take care of, but I'll see you all at Senior Staff in five minutes." Toby said, rushing off.

"So how are you doing?" Sam asked once they were alone.

"I'm fine." He lied, pushing some papers around on his desk. While he had let the group know that his relationship with Donna ended, Sam was the only one he trusted with the whole story. "How did she seem to you?"

"Nervous."

He could only imagine how nervous she must be today. He wondered if he should go say hello to her.

"You should go see her." Sam suggested, almost as if reading his mind. "It might help."

"Or make things worse." He sighed.

"Josh…"

"I'll think about it." Now that he knew that Donna was working in this building again, it was all he would be thinking about.

* * *

He stood outside her door, contemplating if he really should knock or not. He had been standing there for almost five minutes, unable to bring himself to knock. Finally realizing it was ridiculous not to do it, he knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Came her muffled reply.

He took a deep breath and opened the door. She was standing in front of her desk looking at a paper with her back to him. He waited a moment before speaking. "Nice office."

She turned around, looking surprised to see him. "Thanks." Her response took a moment.

"Congratulations on the job." He smiled. "You deserve something like this."

"Thank you." She said, looking wary.

He hated that he couldn't give her a compliment that he truly meant without her being hesitant about his sincerity. "Truly, I think the First Lady made a good choice."

He took this opportunity to take a close look at Donna. She looked great, except her eyes looked sad. He hated being the reason for that.

"Thanks Josh." She said, walking over to the other side of her desk and sitting down. "Is there something I can help you with?"

He also hated that they weren't able to engage in small talk. She now just wanted to get down to business. The truth was he didn't have any business to discuss with her. He just wanted to be around her for a moment, tell her congratulations on the job and maybe start to repair the false belief she had about him being unsupportive.

"Not really." He shrugged. "I just wanted to say hi."

The past few days had set a record for the longest they had gone without talking to each other. The previous record was eighteen hours. Technically it was longer than that during the time she left to go back to Dr. Freeride, but he liked to pretend that never happened. So a few days felt like a lifetime to him. He had a lot of other things to say than just hi but he wasn't sure she would want to hear it.

"Hi." She said softly. "I don't want to be rude, but I have a lot to catch up on since it's my first day. So if there's nothing else…"

"Of course." He nodded, trying not to feel bad about being blown off. "I'll let you get back to it. If you need anything, just let me know."

"Ok. Thanks."

He took one more look at her, flashing a smile before leaving.

Once he was on the other side of her closed door, he pulled out his phone. He still had the florist he used for his mother's birthday in his contact list. It was time to show Donna that he did support her and he did want to be her cheerleader. Sending her flowers to celebrate her first day on the job sounded like a nice gesture and a good start.


	11. Chapter 11

Happy Thoughts

Chapter 11

Donna walked down the hallway, passing all the familiar faces with a friendly smile as she walked to Josh's office. Honestly, she was conflicted about going there. A part of her did want to see him and talk to him. They hadn't spoken since he came to her office on her first day. That was three days ago. There was no denying she missed him. But seeing him that day only made her heartache worse.

Still, she needed to act like a professional. So she would go see him. She approached his office and didn't see Dakota anywhere in sight. She briefly wondered where Dakota was so that she could see what kind of mood Josh was in today before she went in. But since she didn't want to delay the inevitable any longer, she decided to go in anyway and take her chances that he was in a good mood.

She stood in the doorway for a moment, watching as Josh was hunkered down at his desk. His head was buried in some papers and he was alternating between reading and scribbling on a pad of paper. He was in his own little world and hadn't noticed her yet so she took a second to look at him closely.

He looked tired, which wasn't abnormal. He also looked stressed, which definitely wasn't abnormal. She was getting ready to knock on his doorframe when he looked up.

"Hey." He looked at her and smiled.

"Hi." She greeted back. "Do you have a minute?"

"For you?" He chuckled. "Always."

She couldn't tell if he was intentionally trying to be charming or if it was just second nature to him at this point.

"What's up?" He asked, putting down his pen.

"I have already put the wheels in motion through the proper channels and you should be hearing about it soon. But I wanted to give you a heads up on something. The First Lady is looking to start a new initiative."

"But it's an election year." He objected.

"We are well aware of that."

"She can't just be launching new initiatives in an election year. We need to do extensive polling first. It's crazy and she's crazy for trying it."

She grinned. "Would you like to be the one to tell her that? Because I'm not going to. But if you are going to tell her, can you let me know in advance? I'd like to be there to watch with some popcorn. I have a feeling it would be entertaining."

He laughed, showing his dimples. "Alright. I'll give you warning if I do it. So what's the initiative?"

"Vaccinations."

"Are you serious?" He groaned.

"I'm as serious as I can be." She explained. "The First Lady wants to help provide access to vaccinations to low income and uninsured families around the country."

He released a deep sigh. "Why now? Why does she want to do this now?"

"I don't question her timing and you shouldn't either if you know what's good for you." She pointed out.

"This may or may not poll well." He stated to himself. "We have to do a poll to find out."

"You think America won't like the First Lady trying to help keep children healthy?" She chuckled. "Go ahead and knock yourself out. Do as much polling as you need to, but just know that this initiative is going to go through. I'm going to make sure of it."

"How much does she want?"

She could see the wheels turning in his head. "$20 million."

He chuckled. "Well at least it isn't $100 million."

"I can't promise the next initiative will be that cheap." She teased.

"Next? Are there more?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "We're just getting started. I have a whole list of things the First Lady wants to accomplish."

"Any chance I could see what else is on that list?" He asked.

"Nope." She shook her head and chuckled. "I'm not telling. I only came to warn you about this one."

He moved from behind his desk to the front, leaning up against it. "You know, you didn't have to come and tell me. If you went through the proper processes, I would find out about it from others."

"I know."

"I think you just wanted to come see me."

She scoffed and shook her head at his statement. It was only partially true but there was no way she would admit that to him. "I came because it is professional to give a heads up about things like this. We have to find a way to work together and co-exist peacefully here. I know you didn't have a good working relationship with the previous Chief of Staff. I thought coming by would be a good way to make sure our working relationship starts off on the right foot."

"It is." He nodded.

Things were quiet between them for a moment. "Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful, but it was unnecessary."

"I have to disagree." He said, taking a step closer to her. "They were very necessary. I had to do something to mark your first day."

He was being too charming. She could feel her defenses starting to lower as he got closer. He took another step, closing the gap between them.

"What are you doing?" She whispered.

"I miss you, Donna." He admitted. "Can we just talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about." She told him. "I've said what I needed to about the First Lady's agenda."

"I'm not talking about work stuff."

"I know." She was fully aware of what he wanted to talk about, but didn't really want to do it right now. "But I have to get back to work. And you do too. Don't you have to call Joey and put together some kind of emergency poll to let you know that American's do in fact want to have access to vaccinations for all kids, regardless of their family income level?"

"Yeah, I guess I do." He sighed.

She took a step back from him. "Bye Josh."

"Bye."

* * *

A week later

Donna walked over to behind her desk, finding it weird to be in her office at night wearing an evening dress. But she wanted to make sure she had the numbers on the vaccination initiative firmly planted in her mind for tonight.

Tonight was a ball to celebrate the First Lady's birthday. While she didn't particularly want to go, she couldn't exactly bow out. She was expected to be there. Besides, there would likely be people there she needed to talk to about furthering the First Lady's agenda so maybe she could pretend it was a work thing instead of a fancy party she had to go alone to.

Although she knew she could have probably asked Josh to be her date. All she would have had to do was ask.

Ever since she went to his office a week ago, he was sending her notes. Every day when she got into her office there would be another sealed envelope with her name on it waiting on her desk. The first time it happened she immediately recognized his chicken scratch handwriting but shoved the note in her drawer because she wasn't sure she wanted to read it. It took her two hours of not being able to fully concentrate on anything because of the distraction before she opened it.

She opened the middle drawer of her desk and pulled out the notes she had received. He was certainly trying, but was it enough? She opened the first one again.

_You don't seem to want to talk to me. I get it. I wasn't fair to you, and not just during our relationship. I wasn't fair to you when you worked for me either. I didn't give you the credit you deserve for everything that you have done and everything you are. I see it now and I want to fix it. I just hope you will let me._

It was nice to have him acknowledge that he wasn't being fair but she didn't know what to do about all of the attention he was putting on her. She wouldn't have pegged Josh for a romantic, but he was acting like one and it was certainly surprising her. She put the first note away and opened the second one.

_I never congratulated you when you got the job with Children's Literacy Group. Instead, I made the whole thing about me. I could have and should have been more supportive about it. I see now that it hurt you. I didn't want to repeat my mistake when you got the job with the First Lady, which is one of the reasons I sent you the flowers. I'm glad you enjoyed them. _

The third note was along the same lines as the others.

_I also never congratulated you on all of the hard work that you did getting the amendment to the Veteran's Affairs bill passed. You worked hard and that hard work paid off. Although I didn't like the amendment, I was proud of you. I should have made sure you knew that._

The fourth note made her pause.

_If I had to count all the times you were there for me with an encouraging smile, wink, touch, word or just overall look I would lose count somewhere around 1 million. Yet I didn't give you the same kind of support. I'm sorry about that. It wasn't fair._

The more notes she got, the harder it was not to go running back into his arms.

_You haven't said anything about these notes. Hopefully you are reading them and not throwing them away. _

The one she got yesterday made her mad when she read the beginning. It wasn't until halfway through that she melted.

_Here's the truth. You aren't my equal. You never have been my equal and you never will be because the truth is you are so much better than I. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating. It is the truth. You are an amazing woman and a much better person than I am. I should have told you that more often. Maybe if I had told you or shown you that, we would still be together. _

The one she got today stopped her in her tracks when she read it.

_I'm so sorry. I get it. I really do. I see why you felt you had to break up with me. I wish I could be mad about it. I wish I could be angry with you. I wish I could hate you. But I can't. I love you too much. So I'm going to keep sending these notes until you either give me another chance or threaten me with a restraining order. I hope the former comes first._

She wanted to believe him, wanted to believe in him. She loved him too and she wanted to be with him. And he should know there was no circumstance conceivable to her where she would threaten him with a restraining order. A part of her was curious about how long he could keep up with this daily note thing. He was really trying and it was nice to hear him acknowledge that she wasn't crazy about some of the things she tried to tell him before they broke up.

She had thought about going to him and confronting him about the notes to see if he meant everything he was writing but was too afraid. She missed him and wanted to be with him. Could they make it work?

Everything was a mess but she didn't have time to think about it right now. She shoved the notes into her purse and then took one last look at the vaccination numbers before leaving her office.

* * *

Donna walked around the grand ballroom, smiling at the random politicians she saw. She had been at the party for over an hour. After checking in with the First Lady and the President, she made her rounds to the key players. It was important to make sure that they had support for not only the vaccination initiative but also the other initiatives the First Lady wanted to launch.

It was an impressive list that she compiled with the First Lady and very ambitious. It was going to be tough to get some of them passed in an election year. Still, she appreciated the First Lady having trust in her. It was nice to be a part of doing something good that she believed in and that she earned on her own.

Once she got past the initial shock of being offered the job, she realized that Josh didn't play any role in it. The First Lady had made that clear. So this was a job she got by herself. It made her more confident and was making it easier to do this job.

She grabbed a glass of champagne and smiled when she saw Sam walking towards her.

"Donna, you look wonderful." He smiled.

"Thanks." She smiled back. "You always look nice in your tux."

"It's one of my superpowers." He joked. "So how are you doing with the First Lady?"

"I'm doing well I think." She chuckled.

"Don't worry. I've only heard good things about what you are doing."

"That's good." She was relieved. "How are things going on that side of the office?"

"Well it's getting crazy with the campaign. But things are going well so far."

"Good." She couldn't help but notice Josh walking into the ballroom. Her eyes automatically found him and refused to let go, locking in on his location immediately. She couldn't help but be amused by his bowtie. He never could get it just right. It always seemed to be crooked on the left side.

It wasn't long until he looked over and their eyes met. She saw him smile and before she could stop herself she smiled back. Then she looked back at Sam, who had seen the whole thing.

"How is that going?" Sam asked.

"It's not." She shook her head.

"It could though." He pointed out. "It would take too much for the two of you to get back together."

"Is this an ad sponsored by the 'Get Josh and Donna back together campaign'?" She joked.

"No." Sam chuckled. "But I should go find CJ and get that started. I'm sure we could raise a bunch of money for a targeted ad campaign."

She looked and saw Josh was trying to make his way through the crowd to where she was. It made her start to panic. Sam looked and saw Josh on his way too. "If you will excuse me, I have to go…be anywhere other than here for a moment."

Sam just laughed and motioned for her to go.

She got away just in time before Josh was able to stop her. She felt bad about rushing off, but she wasn't sure what to say to him. He clearly wanted to get back together. She did too, but was it really a good idea? They didn't work out last time, barely lasting three months. What if they were just better at being friends and loving each other that way? What if a grand love story wasn't in the cards for them?

The ballroom was large. There were tons of people here. She mentally calculated a guess of how long she could keep dodging him tonight. Maybe if she kept moving, just like a shark. Maybe that would help. She downed the rest of her drink and kept moving.


	12. Chapter 12

Happy Thoughts

Chapter 12

Josh was disappointed when he reached Sam and realized Donna was long gone.

"You just missed Donna." Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, I know." He sighed.

"How's that going?"

"It's not." He shook his head. "I'm trying though."

"How so?"

He looked over at Sam. "Promise not to laugh?"

"I'll promise to do my best not to laugh." Sam chuckled.

He figured that was as good of a promise as he could get. "I've been leaving notes for her every day."

"Notes?" Sam asked. "You mean like love notes?"

"Kind of." He shrugged. "Just little notes to let her know what's on my mind and what I've realized about why our relationship didn't work."

"Do you think it is having any effect?"

"I honestly have no clue." He sighed. "I mean, you saw how fast she took off when she saw me coming. That can't be a good sign."

"But her eyes immediately found you as soon as you came in here." Sam pointed out. "She still cares about you."

"Hopefully."

"So about these notes…are they well written?"

He glared at Sam. "Of course they are! I may not be a speech writer but I know how to write."

"Just checking." Sam grinned. "You know, I could look them over for you if you want so that they pack more of a punch."

"No way. I'm not outsourcing this. It's too important." He shook his head. "Besides, don't you have a campaign speech to go write or something?"

"I'm taking the night off so my brain doesn't explode." Sam explained.

"I think it's too late for that, my friend." He slapped Sam on the back and then walked off. He wanted to go find Donna.

* * *

It took him four songs to find her. She was taking a moment to stare at the musicians on the stage so he walked up behind her. "So what do you think? Are these guys only allowed to play waltzes or is it the only type of music they know how to play?" He asked with a goofy grin on his face.

She turned and saw him, laughing at his comment. "I don't know. Maybe the First Lady loves waltzes and they have been commanded by the President not to deviate."

"Then I guess we should be glad the First Lady doesn't love movie musicals like Grease." He joked.

"I guess." She nodded. "But what's wrong with Grease?"

"Oh so many things." He joked before the grin left his face. "I think you've been avoiding me."

She just shrugged. "Maybe I'm just busy."

"Or you've been avoiding me." He persisted.

"Josh…"

"You know, you look absolutely incredible tonight." It was true. The red floor-length gown she was wearing made her look even more beautiful than normal.

"Thanks." She gave him a small smile. "You look nice too."

"Ah, any chimp can look good in a tux." He laughed.

"Here. Let me."

Before he knew what was happening, she was reaching over to fix his bowtie.

"You were a little crooked." She explained.

"Thanks." He grinned. That was something she had always done for him and it was nice to see that hadn't changed.

A new waltz started and he extended his hand to her. "Dance with me?"

She didn't immediately take his hand.

"Just one dance." He pleaded. "Please Donna? Then I'll leave you alone the rest of the night. I promise."

She nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead her to the dance floor. He put an arm around her waist and pulled her close as they danced to the song.

"I forgot how good you are at dancing." She commented.

"Well it has been awhile, hasn't it?" He chuckled. There was only one other time that he had danced with her, which was hard to believe.

"Yeah." She agreed. "It was the President's Inaugural Ball. It seems like a lifetime ago."

"Yes it does." He agreed. "Maybe we'll get to dance at his next one."

"Maybe." She nodded as they danced in silence for a moment.

"Donna…" He started to say something but changed his mind because he wasn't sure he had the courage to know the answer. "Never mind."

"What?" She asked. "Say what you were going to say."

He couldn't refuse her request and swallowed the nervousness he felt. "I was just going to ask if you had been reading the notes I've left you."

She didn't answer right away, making him even more nervous. What if she hadn't read them? What if she had and hated them? What if she was going to tell him to stop sending the notes?

"I have read them." She finally answered.

"And?" Now that he knew she read them, he had to know what her thoughts on them were.

"I'm not filing a restraining order." She grinned. "That's about all I can commit to right now."

His eyes lit up at her statement, his face replacing worry with hope. "I can live with that."

"Can I ask one thing though?" She asked quietly.

"You can ask me anything you want." He grinned.

"Did you really mean what you've written?"

There was hesitation in her voice, mixed with a tone of uncertainty. It was like she didn't know if she could trust him. He hated that she doubted him. "I do. I've meant every word I wrote." He promised. "If I could go back and change things I would. I'd do so many things differently. You were so right. I didn't treat you like an equal. But it wasn't because I thought less of you. I've been in awe of you for years. I'm just sorry that I didn't voice it before. And I am so proud of you, which is another thing I should have been telling you."

He was going to go on but the waltz ended. He had promised her that he would leave her alone after the dance was done. She looked confused when he let go of her.

"The deal was one song." He reminded her. It tore him up not to continue telling her everything that was in his heart, but a deal was a deal.

"Josh…"

Before she could go any further, Toby walked up to them.

"Oh hey Donna." Toby greeted before looking at him. "We need you for something about the campaign."

"Alright." He sighed, looking over at Donna. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Of course." She nodded.

He took one more look at her before leaving with Toby. If he didn't know any better, he would say that she looked disappointed he was leaving. Maybe there was some hope for them yet.

* * *

By the time they fixed the issue with the campaign, the party was winding down. He went back to the ballroom in hopes of finding Donna but she was nowhere to be found. So he went back to his office. He was going to get some work done but couldn't concentrate so he sat on his couch. He laid his head back and closed his eyes so that he could do the exercise Donna taught him.

His happy thought tonight was being able to dance with her tonight. Having her back in his arms, even if she wasn't his again, was magical and he loved it.

He tried to hold on to the feeling but was interrupted by a knock on the door. He groaned and kept his eyes closed. "What is it now?"

"Do you want me to come back another time?"

He immediately opened his eyes and stood up, looking over at Donna. "NO! No, stay."

"I didn't mean to interrupt you." She apologized. "What were you doing?"

"The visualization exercise you taught me."

She laughed. "You mean the one you called nonsense?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I've been doing it ever since you taught it to me."

"I never would have guessed that."

There was an awkward silence that filled the room. "So I tried to find you but I couldn't."

"Yeah." She nodded. "I left the party and went home. But I came back."

"Why did you come back?" He couldn't help but be curious.

"I forgot something important." She shrugged.

"Oh. Well it's easy to forget things."

"Yeah." She nodded. "The thing is though, that was a lie. I didn't forget anything."

He was confused now. "What are you talking about?" He took a good look at her and saw that she looked nervous. "What's going on? Donna, is everything alright?"

"No." She shook her head. "It's not and I'm getting tired of pretending it is. The truth is I should be on cloud nine right now. I have an amazing job that is fulfilling and actually matters. But it isn't enough for me. There's something missing and I know what it is. I reach out in the middle of the night and you aren't next to me. I come home at the end of the day and you aren't there. I pick up the phone to call you and then remember that I shouldn't. I miss you, Josh and I love you. I'm tired of pretending that I don't."

After hearing that admission, he closed the gap between them and immediately gathered her in his arms, placing soft kisses on her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck. They stayed there like that, kissing for a few minutes until she placed her head on his shoulder.

"I love you too." He whispered in her ear. "And I'm so sor…"

"If you say sorry one more time I'm going to hit you." She whispered, moving to look at him. "All I have really ever wanted was to know was where I stand with you. You've been really honest with those notes."

"I've meant every word." He promised.

"I know." She nodded. "I believe you and I don't want to be apart anymore."

He couldn't help but grin and start spinning her around in a circle. "You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that."

She giggled. "Probably not as happy as I am to be saying it."


	13. Epilogue

Happy Thoughts

Epilogue

Donna stood in Josh's office with him and finished fixing his bowtie for his tux. "There we go." Once she was done, she gave him a quick kiss.

"Thank you." He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Remind me, how many of these balls is the President going to tonight?"

"Well there are 16 inaugural balls total, but I believe they are only going to 4 tonight." She answered.

"You think we will get a chance to dance at all four of them?"

"I'm counting on it." She informed him, stepping out of his grasp and walking over to her purse. "You ready? I think everyone should be leaving a couple of minutes."

"I'm not sure I want to leave with you looking like that." He chuckled. "You look too good. I'm worried some guy will try to steal you tonight."

"They could try but it won't work." She grinned. "I'm very happy with you and everyone around here knows it."

He held out his arm for her to link hers. "Then let's go celebrate."

* * *

As they rode in one of the cars behind the President in the motorcade towards the first inaugural ball of the night, Donna looked out the window. So much had happened in the last several months since she and Josh got back together. They almost immediately moved in together, with her moving into Josh's place.

After that, the campaign started to take off and they didn't have as much time together. He was busy with the campaign and helping to run the country. She was busy trying to get the First Lady's agenda passed and juggling the First Lady's campaign appearances. So far she had been able to get five of the First Lady's initiatives funded, but they still had a long way to go to complete the list.

At least they had four more years in the White House. Although the campaign was close in the beginning, they pulled it around and the President won by a landslide. She was so proud of the team, but especially Josh. She looked over at the space between them in the car. He had grabbed her hand and was tracing small circles on the palm of her hand with his thumb.

Even though they hadn't had a chance to spend as much time together as they would have liked while on the campaign trail, she felt secure with their relationship. It seemed the notes Josh left her after their break up was just the beginning of a whole new 'romantic' side she hadn't seen in him before. He sent her notes on random days, would bring her back some little trinket from a campaign trip and would do things like this with her hand.

Any worries she had about them being able to sustain a relationship long term were sliding away. He was making sure of that.

"Ah." Josh chuckled. "Here we go. Ball number one."

She looked at him and smiled, squeezing his hand. "Let's go."

* * *

It had been a long night. They were finally at the fourth and final ball. They were swaying to the music.

"Well we did it." He smiled at her. "We managed to dance at each of the locations."

"Yes we did." She smiled back.

"Do you ever think about what's next?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this…tonight is great. But do you ever think about what's next? Our days of working for the Bartlet administration are numbered. Do you ever think about what's next after this?"

"No." She laughed. "I don't. I mean, who knows where we will be in four years. Who knows where we will be in a year even. It's too far away to worry about right now, especially since his second term just officially started today. An opportunity will present itself in the future and we'll figure it out then."

When she finished her statement, he just grinned at her.

"What?"

"I just like when you say 'we' when talking about the future." He told her.

"It does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" She smiled as the song ended.

"You know what? Let's go get some air."

She looked at him like he was crazy. "It's January. It's going to be cold out there."

"Just for a moment. Please?" He pleaded.

She relented after rolling her eyes. "Ok."

He led her through the crowd of people to a balcony. One the way he grabbed two glasses of champagne. Once they were out there, she noticed they were the only ones. She chuckled softly. "I guess no one else wants to freeze their butts off out here."

"Actually, I had Secret Service keep everyone away from here." He told her. He put the glasses down before taking off his coat and placing it around her shoulders.

"Why?" She questioned.

"Come here." He grabbed her hand and led her to the edge of the balcony. "The fireworks are going to start."

Sure enough, within a few seconds, fireworks started lighting up the sky. She looked at them for a moment before looking back at him. "Why did you have Secret Service do that?"

"I wanted to be alone with you for a moment tonight." He answered.

"Ok." She wasn't sure what was going on but he was acting weird. It was a nice gesture to have a balcony all to themselves, but she had a feeling there was something else going on. She went back to looking at the fireworks. "It's an impressive show."

"Yeah, it is."

She turned to look at him and saw that he was on one knee. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" He grinned.

"What are you doing?" She whispered. Her heart was beating in her chest. This was not what she expected tonight.

"What does it look like?" He chuckled, pulling out a ring box and opening it.

Inside the box was a beautifully simple just gorgeous diamond ring. She now knew there was no mistaking what was happening. He was going to propose. Of course she had wondered if they would make it this far. She wondered late at night sometimes if she would ever get the chance to become his wife. But she didn't think he was the marrying type. He had never mentioned it and had always seemed like he would be happy never to get married. But now…well apparently she was wrong.

"Donatella Moss…there are so many things I could say about you, so many reasons I could list for why I love you. But then we would be out here way too long and you'd probably catch pneumonia and die. So let me just say that I am completely, hopelessly, and eternally in love with you. You make every day better than the last one. You make me a better man. You make everything in this life worthwhile. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you…"

"Yes!" She interrupted him. "Yes."

He laughed. "You won't even let me finish the question?"

She grinned. "Is it really that important to you to finish the question?"

"Well…yeah. It kind of is." He shrugged.

"Ok." She took a deep breath. "I won't interrupt this time."

"Will you…" He grinned. "Become my assistant again?"

She glared at him and hit him on the shoulder. Of course he would joke around at a time like this. "Joshua Lyman, ask the real question!"

"Ow!" He feigned being hurt. "Ok, ok. Will you marry me?"

"Yes." She nodded as he slipped the ring on her finger. She took a quick look at it before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"I'm so glad you said yes." He whispered once they broke apart.

"You thought I would say no?" She laughed.

"I wasn't sure." He shrugged. "We hadn't really talked about it."

"I didn't want to spook you." She admitted.

"And I didn't want you to think I was moving too fast."

"I think this is just the right speed." She smiled. "The ring is beautiful."

"CJ helped me pick it out."

"She did a good job."

"I asked her to help right after we came back from Christmas with your family." He explained. "I wanted to make sure I had your father's permission first."

Just when she thought there was nothing else he could do to surprise her, she was proven wrong. "You asked my father?"

"Of course." He nodded. "Isn't that what respectable men do in this situation?"

She smiled. It meant a lot to her that he would subject himself to the litany of questions her father was sure to ask him about marrying her. Knowing how her father liked to question the men in her life, she was certain it wasn't a fun discussion. But he did it for her. "I love you."

"I would hope so since we're getting married." He grinned. "What is the name of the book you got that one visualization exercise from?"

"I don't remember off the top of my head. Why?"

"We should frame it since that exercise was the catalyst for us getting together." He told her, walking away to get the glasses and handing one to her. "If you hadn't come into my office that night and sprouted on and on about why I should be thinking about happy thoughts, who knows how much longer we would have danced around our feelings."

She thought about it and couldn't help but agree. "Then let's drink a toast to happy thoughts."

"To happy thoughts." He grinned.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing/following/reading this story! What started as a 2 part story for a fandom I haven't written about before turned into something totally different than I imagined. I have ideas for a sequel. Please let me know if you'd be interested in reading that. Thanks again!


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